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#164
Quote by GUNTHER!
Hey Im a gay emo ***, mind if I cut myself and procede to write a song about how my life is miserable and you suck my dick?


Hehe bitch
#165
Thanks again everyone; If the popularity keeps up, I'll ask a mod to make it an official thread. Please keep it up and keep this the funniest ****in thread on UG!!!! (p.s. ill post a message every day or so to keep new people coming [insert **** reference here]....)
#166
If i asked you out, would your answer be the same answer as the answer to this question?
Quote by RU Experienced?
See the FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU- thread, he's a God amongst men.

^^ about me


Confucius once say: "Women is like jazz music, 3/4 jazz time, 1/4 ragtime."

This is my sig, get over it. ಠ_ಠ
#168
Quote by xyz66
If i asked you out, would your answer be the same answer as the answer to this question?



It's ****ing foolproof!

EDIT: Unless they say maybe...
#169
Quote by qaq0
SHWING! (precede to thrust pelvis)


Total babe!
Quote by element4433
One time I watched a dog lick his own dick for twenty minutes.

Quote by Seref
My genitals dangle limply in disgust and annoyance.
#172
Quote by Oroborous


It's ****ing foolproof!

EDIT: Unless they say maybe...


how about if they say **** off?
Quote by UraniYum
Fuck you I'm trying to be caring and shit


Quote by Cb4rabid
Okay guys, I have a confession to make. Not really a confession since it's something that's been bugging me for awhile but I've always been in denial about it.

**** you gilly, it's not what you think
#173
did it hurt when you fell from heaven? because it sure looks like it


Quote by element4433
One time I watched a dog lick his own dick for twenty minutes.

Quote by Roc8995
No.


Well, technically it could be done, but only in the same way that you could change a cat into a hamburger. It's an unpleasant process, and nobody is happy with the result.
#174
Quote by rocknroll93
did it hurt when you fell from heaven? because it sure looks like it




I'll translate one: Is your father a gardener? Because you look like a flower (sounds SO much better in Hebrew!).
A friend of my cousin came up with this retort: Is your father a gardener? Damn! I'm looking for a summer job.
#175
The best line I've ever come across has to be this:
"Can I **** you in the face?"

The friend that told me that is a girl too. And she says it works... Apparently.
Quote by Rocker007
Blackrat has won this thread. That is an awsome post.


This was posted right after I posted said post in a completely different thread... Whups.


"There are 3 types of people in this world... Those who can count, and those who can't."
#176
this face is leaving you better be on it....


probly been said but ah well
Quote by rabidguitarist
Nothing gay about playing with another mans dick. I bet all of you play with your own.


he just owned everybody


Gary(L)Kirsty-Lea<3

RIP Ronnie James Dio. You will be deeply missed. You truely are a hero and a pioneer in metal
#177
Catch a goat, you've pulled
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
#178
Were you born on a chicken farm? 'Cause you're good at raising cocks
Gear:

Epiphone 1966 Ltd. SG
Epiphone SG G-400 (RIP)
Yamaha C310P
Kustom Quad DFX100
Roland Microcube (... I use it as an ipod speaker now XD)
Boss Ns-2 Noise suppressor
Boss Md-2 Mega distortion
Boss Dn-2 Dyna Drive
Vox V847 Wah
#179
You wanna check out my HL2Stats?

90% Headshot rate BIATCH.
"Black gives way to more black."




I have UG Black Style and I can barely read my signature.

Also, I like black.


~DawnwalkerALL HAIL COMRADE DAWNWALKER
#180
Quote by qaq0
SHWING! (precede to thrust pelvis)




The subtle ones are always the best.
#181
Quote by dhutton
Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.


I used a variation of this a few weeks ago and it worked!













☻/

/▌

/ \


PSN ID: Lord-MacTooth
#182
Quote by slash_GNR666
Catch a goat, you've pulled



whats that been used on?? i saw it on a tv show the other day and cnat for the love of god remember what tv show it is

but surely it should be grab your coat, you've pulled. lol
Quote by rabidguitarist
Nothing gay about playing with another mans dick. I bet all of you play with your own.


he just owned everybody


Gary(L)Kirsty-Lea<3

RIP Ronnie James Dio. You will be deeply missed. You truely are a hero and a pioneer in metal
#183
Are you a nurse because I think I broke my **** and I need you to examine it. For, you know, medical purposes.
#184
If you get in my bed with me it will be like 1,000,000 dicks in you.


I think she is dead...
Don't ask and I wont !*Censored*!
#185
Is there a mirror on your belt?
Cos i can see myself in your pants
>>-(ಠ_ಠ-<<
>>-(. Y .)-<<
>>> . (<<<
>>-( Y )-<<
Quote by dudetheman
Dude, your fucking sig creeps me out.

Quote by Kosh H
I just noticed his sig too...I feel uncomfortable now...

Quote by WantsLesPaul
Your sig killed my boner _


DIY SO-CAL PUNK LABEL
#186
The word of the day is legs. Lets go back to my place and you can blow me.

If i said you had a nice body would you let me blow all over it?

I lost my phone number. Will you **** me?

Is heaven missing an angel? 'Coz you've got nice cans!

I find that the most attractive part of a woman is the boobies...

(Those last two are actually from Futurama i believe)
I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.
Executed by injection, Oklahoma.
~~ Thomas J. Grasso, d. March 20, 1995.


Lyrics/Poetry

Fires Burning
Last edited by Skin the Sun at Nov 13, 2009,
#187
Quote by Skin the Sun
Is heaven missing an angel? 'Coz you've got nice cans!


Oh yea?

**** heaven, nice boobs!
Don't ask and I wont !*Censored*!
#188
Quote by 89cruefan
whats that been used on?? i saw it on a tv show the other day and cnat for the love of god remember what tv show it is

but surely it should be grab your coat, you've pulled. lol


It's from an advert for a phone, the guy texts/emails his friends for a pickup line and then manages to screw up the standard "get your coat you've pulled".
R.I.P. My Signature. Lost to us in the great Signature Massacre of 2014.

Quote by Master Foo
“A man who mistakes secrets for knowledge is like a man who, seeking light, hugs a candle so closely that he smothers it and burns his hand.”


Album.
Legion.
#189
"We don't need to go to the pool if you to get wet" (not mine)
"I like your genes."

Him: Is it ok if i come (cum) with you?
Her: Where?
Him: Inside of your pants
Last edited by Mark Roxx at Jan 19, 2010,
#194
id suck a fart out of your ass and hold it in like a bonghit


edit: holy shitting **** necrobump as **** oh mang
#195
One of my female friends went as a sexy pirate for halloween, so I spent the entire day coming up with pirate themed pick up lines for her. Here are the best few:

Ay girl, I'd like to plunder yo booty.
Ay girl, you can cannon my balls.
Ay girl, you can walk my plank.
Ay girl, my map says there's treasure in yo pants.
Ay girl, you can swab my deck.

It's so easy.

edit: I should call her...
you're a stone fox
Last edited by Saint78 at Jan 7, 2013,
#196



edit: holy shitting **** necrobump as **** oh mang

This was self-stickied on my page for the last 4 years.
I am the necromancer.

Bolded line is also my pick up line.
Quote by leeb rocks
SO I'VE BEEN BALLS DEEP IN MYSELF THIS WHOLE TlME?!?!
#198
You must be a mess because I'm trying to pick you up.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#200
Old thread but since it's been bumped...

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Can I stick my Penis in you?
Guitars & Gear:
Parker Nitefly M
Sumer Metal Driver
Ibanez RGD2120Z
AMT SS-11B
Two Notes Torpedo CAB