This is the revised version of my song, I received a few good suggestions plus a bridge so hopefully this piece is finished =]

let me know what you think, and as always, constructive criticism is always welcome

My Bad Habit (Those Eyes)

Verse 1:

you sip your drink ever so softly
I don't know how you could ever be so coy
you slip the look
oh how you give me the eyes

I don't know where to go from here
everything used to always be clear
now i'm lost
and all I see are those eyes


You're my bad habit
with those sparkling eyes
I feel your hand on my leg
and your breath on mine
you turn me on
oh how you turn us on
so much for subtle
girl just go along

Verse 2:

We go upstairs with no-one around us
you slip out of your clothes
drag me closer and slide up against me
oh what a night

I feel my heart racing it's pounding through my chest
why is this such a rush
light or not all i see
are those eyes

Repeat Chorus


You run your hands all over me
I bite my lip and just go along
then I grab your hips, feel your lips, now i taste you
you just go along

Final Chorus
Each line in parenthesis is sung as overlapping vocals with the line above it

You're my bad habit
(Open me up)
with those sparkling eyes
(step inside)
I feel your hand on my leg
(she wants more)
and your breath on mine
(one more night)
you turn me on
(Breath drawn deeper)
oh how you turn us on
(In as one)
so much for subtle
(Tonight you are)
girl just go along
(my fire)
Ah I love it
Have you ever heard of a band called Nevershoutnever? That's what this song sounds like when I play it in my head

There's not too much I can say about this.
I didn't get the "your breath on mine" line, what's this about? She's breathing onto your breath? Or am I just stupidly missing something? But I didn't know breathing into someone else's breath was romantic. Maybe try something like "Your breath, my neck" - got a little bit of internal half-rhyme

Oh and the "I taste you" line? Might just be something personal but I'm not a fan of it. Might just be me though so you might not need to change it.

Other than that good song Message me if you ever get a recording