#1
(verse 1)

evidence there, nowhere left to hide
scars show the past did infact exist
grudges held, never wanting to let go
my heart pleading, let these words flow

(chorus)x2

when an angel bites, an angel bites, an angel bites
you will never feel such a perfect pain throughout your life
except for that of an angels bite

(verse 2)

a sharp pain flashes through your head
a whispered voice says nothing right
an invisable something that you know is there
a once loved one that just doesnt care

(chorus)x2

when an angel bites, an angel bites, an angel bites
you will never feel such a perfect pain throughout your life
except for that of an angels bite

(bridge)

i see your beautiful face crying blood
i wipe it clean but you still weep
i ask what could possibly be wrong
but when you answer you fall asleep

so far you fall that you will not wake
but i cant stand to see you fade
that small white light changes to black
my life for yours, i would not hesitate to trade

(chorus)x4

when an angel bites, an angel bites, an angel bites
you will never feel such a perfect pain throughout your life
except for that of an angels bite

i ask an angel for one last request
to keep your soul forever blessed
the time is now to save your life
i do it now with an angles bite
There is a saying in poetry, "show me, don't tell me." here you are announcing everything, like an announcer to a sporting event. "Dave has the ball. Dave passes the ball. Dave picks his ass."

~Zanascross

XD epic win
Last edited by NOTAFOX at Oct 21, 2009,
#2
I like the overall idea
It's just written really weird
I think you need to go back through and distribute the syllables so that it flows easily

And is this is meant to be a song it's better to go with lines in multiples of 4