Lonely hill


This is my first time posting lyrics and would like any crits, good or bad. This is just the first part of a song i just wrote about a hill outside my house and will add more verses later. Thanks in advance for any tips/comments

Lonely hill why do you mock me so
what is it that you know
about being alone
that you care to show

Is there something you wanna say
do you wish me to obey
can I hold sway
can I keep you at bay

I wonder if you have a soul
I wonder why do you pull
you take your toll
will you show

me how to live
and never forgive

lonely hill what can I say
were about the same
though I'm pleased to say
I'm not happy this way

( This last verse will probably be the chorus)
I like it. Its a good piece, not cliche. Thats a hard thing to overcome for most writers. Good luck with future writing!
Quote by skaterskagg1
Gotta have more shaft!

Don't sig that!

Just because you said not too!