#1
could not have been any more perfect? Or, the opposite, in that they could not possibly have been worse. My example is what happened to me today, that could only have been planned by an evil genius.

When my mom and step-dad were picking me up from my dad's house, as I got into the car, a full Coors Light can started to fall out the door. I hopped into the backseat, and, without noticing it, closed the door. The door hit the Coors Light can, cut it open, didn't close because of the can being in the way, and started spraying at me through the hole. Panicking, not thinking clearly, I huddled on the other side of the backseat, although it could still hit me (it's got great range). My little brother walked out of my dad's house just in time to see me, through the open door, huddled against the other door in the backseat, getting sprayed by a Coors Light can that was on the road, the morale of the story being that it is not fun to get cheap beer in your eye....

So, what are your stories of events that were just so unlikely to happen, whether they be good or bad, that they fit into this thread?
#4
that time I made this really good search bar joke (this is not one of those times)

I take that back i got lulz from your story
Yours Sincerely,


Dr. Speakers
Last edited by speakers at Oct 25, 2009,
#5
Quote by Erik_Aero
I once shot a gun straight up and killed God.


Quote by kayaress one


Sir, I love you.

#6
A locker was jammed shut at school. About 4 people tried various methods to open it, none of them worked. I walked up to it, punched it as hard as I could, it opened, and I walked away looking like a real badass.

Although I think I may have chipped a knuckle in the process.
#7
Quote by Dirge Humani
A locker was jammed shut at school. About 4 people tried various methods to open it, none of them worked. I walked up to it, punched it as hard as I could, it opened, and I walked away looking like a real badass.

Although I think I may have chipped a knuckle in the process.
True story?
#9
This one time when I walked down from my school to the place where I stalled by bike, I took the keys of one of my friends and threw them as far as I could and started to walk further. Then I suddenly heard a *CLOINK*. Turned out I threw the keys in a trash bin on the other side of the schooyard
#10
Quote by Well.......
This one time a bird shit on me.

Seems pretty unlikely to me.


Count yourself lucky that cows cannot fly.
#11
Quote by Erik_Aero
I once shot a gun straight up and killed God.


You cannot kill what doesn't exist.

<.<
>.>
❝Don't be afraid of death, but of an inadequate life❞
Bertolt Bretcht


#12
I went to a party, met a hot girl that one of my friends knew, ended up wearing a scarlet tutu and no shirt and posing for a picture with the aforementioned friend while holding ballons in front of my nipples. Then I unzipped my pants, stuck my arm through the hole, and shook people's hands. One of them licked my hand instead of shaking. One of them was a complete stranger. Then my friend's girlfriend jokingly put the moves on me when I sat down next to her, while her boyfriend was right there. He gave me a hilarious look before realizing what was going on.

Great party. The best part is that none of that happened under the influence of alcohol becuase hardly any of my friends drink.
Like punk the way it used to be? Deranged Youth Its like what Warped Tour should be!

Want to hear something mind-blowing? Pit O' Bodies Its like an amateur hypnotist plus the Spanish Inquisition!
#13
Quote by KirkMetallica
You cannot kill what doesn't exist.

<.<
>.>


Yours Sincerely,


Dr. Speakers
#14
Quote by herby190
could not have been any more perfect? Or, the opposite, in that they could not possibly have been worse. My example is what happened to me today, that could only have been planned by an evil genius.

When my mom and step-dad were picking me up from my dad's house, as I got into the car, a full Coors Light can started to fall out the door. I hopped into the backseat, and, without noticing it, closed the door. The door hit the Coors Light can, cut it open, didn't close because of the can being in the way, and started spraying at me through the hole. Panicking, not thinking clearly, I huddled on the other side of the backseat, although it could still hit me (it's got great range). My little brother walked out of my dad's house just in time to see me, through the open door, huddled against the other door in the backseat, getting sprayed by a Coors Light can that was on the road, the morale of the story being that it is not fun to get cheap beer in your eye....

So, what are your stories of events that were just so unlikely to happen, whether they be good or bad, that they fit into this thread?


you idiot. when that happens your supposed to open your mouth. if i was your dad, i'd punch you for letting all that go to waste...
Holy crap, my UG account still exists?
#16
Quote by Erik_Aero
I once shot a gun straight up and killed God.


so you're the little bastard that shot me in the ass...
Holy crap, my UG account still exists?
#18
Quote by KirkMetallica
You cannot kill what doesn't exist.

<.<
>.>

You can't prove that he doesn't exist.

I don't know why atheists bother trying to spend their time trying to fool themselves.

lol jk
#19
Like 4 years ago, I was watching some hot girl on girl action in my room. I heard a weird noise coming from my sisters room. Being a good little brother I shut off the porn and went to make sure she was ok. I opened the door slowly and I saw her and her GF 69ing.
To this day, girl on girl is a no go for me
Yes, I'm from California, yes I like Hockey, no I do not like the Ducks, yes I like the Kings!
#20
Quote by Bottle of Dirt
Like 4 years ago, I was watching some hot girl on girl action in my room. I heard a weird noise coming from my sisters room. Being a good little brother I shut off the porn and went to make sure she was ok. I opened the door slowly and I saw her and her GF 69ing.
To this day, girl on girl is a no go for me


oh, you mean like this?

Holy crap, my UG account still exists?
#23
Quote by soulfly_freak
you idiot. when that happens your supposed to open your mouth. if i was your dad, i'd punch you for letting all that go to waste...
Sorry to tell you, but Coors Light tastes like AIDS-infected urine.
#25
Quote by Zomby Woof
You didn't join in?!?!
Yeah; you screwed up a chance at wincest!
Last edited by herby190 at Oct 25, 2009,
#26
Quote by herby190
Sorry to tell you, but Coors Light tastes like AIDS-infected urine.


really? cause i don't go around tasting other peoples piss...
Holy crap, my UG account still exists?
#28
Quote by Dirge Humani
Aw man...


*sulks away*


thats right, back in your little padded room...
silly little public urinator
Holy crap, my UG account still exists?
#29
I was hanging out with this girl I liked. I did everything right, said all the right things. After a while we started making out for a good 45 minutes. Finally she put her hand down my pants. The second she touched me, I exploded.

It went from an awesome day to a awful day.


Please don't sig this.
There is a war going on for your mind.

If you are thinking, you are winning.


Resistance is victory.


We are building up a new world.
Do not sit idly by.
#30
Quote by soulfly_freak
really? cause i don't go around tasting other peoples piss...
Hey, it's a long story, and I DON'T NEED YOUR CRITICISM!
#31
Quote by Fenderhippie69
I was hanging out with this girl I liked. I did everything right, said all the right things. After a while we started making out for a good 45 minutes. Finally she put her hand down my pants. The second she touched me, I exploded.

It went from an awesome day to a awful day.


Please don't sig this.


well, you did say please...
Holy crap, my UG account still exists?
#32
Quote by Dirge Humani
Aw man...


*sulks away*

it's okay.
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