#1
C4C, OTS, and all that jazz.


I like to run my fingers
down the grooves in your spine,
just so I can know
what holds you together.
Because your mass assembly
of needle-thin bones
don't seem sufficient
to carry such a character.

You've left me behind,
but I'll grow sandcastles
in the footsteps
you so carelessly granted me.
And inside,
I'll leave your lips, your smile,
your eyes.
Then wait for the tide
to wash them out to sea.
If anything,
I can be patient,
sitting saturnine and silent.

I hope my kisses
have left a few bruises
on your oh, so flawless skin.
#2
Quote by SweetPoison
C4C, OTS, and all that jazz.


I like to run my fingers
down the grooves in your spine,
just so I can know
what holds you together.
Because your mass assembly
of needle-thin bones
don't seem sufficient
to carry such a character.
I like the imagery and descriptions here. Good way to open the piece.

You've left me behind,
but I'll grow sandcastles
in the footsteps
you so carelessly granted me.
And inside,
I'll leave your lips, your smile,
your eyes.
Then wait for the tide
to wash them out to sea.
If anything,
I can be patient,
sitting saturnine and silent.
Very interesting direction. I really like the sandcastles line. Cool imagery.

I hope my kisses
have left a few bruises
on your oh, so flawless skin.
I like what you were trying to say here, but the way you said it seems to let the piece down a bit. Not bad though.


I really enjoyed this piece. It was very creative and the imagery was great. Good work.