#1
C4C
kind of a nirvana kind of grunge thing i guess, my mom was being a bitch so i sat down and wrote

paper machayed promises
keep shelter from the cold
it is hard to not relate
to the sense of getting old

i don't hate you for yourself
i hate you for who you are
i can believe, that its hard to believe
everything i've said so far

shit on me
because we all know you could part the sea
shit on me
we inferred you'd have common decency
shit on me
shit on me

tree's dont grow straight without a guide
but straight isnt natural
push and pull and tear the seems
on the mind and it state
Quote by herby190
When I saw that, I thought of musical notes.... my elementary school teachers taught them as "tee-tees" "ta-tas" and a bunch of other nonsense....
#2
Quote by Ir a+infinitive
C4C
kind of a nirvana kind of grunge thing i guess, my mom was being a bitch so i sat down and wrote

paper machayed promises
keep shelter from the cold
it is hard to not relate
to the sense of getting old

i don't hate you for yourself
i hate you for who you are
i can believe, that its hard to believe
everything i've said so far

shit on me
because we all know you could part the sea
shit on me
we inferred you'd have common decency
shit on me
shit on me

tree's dont grow straight without a guide
but straight isnt natural
push and pull and tear the seems
on the mind and it state



this is pretty bad.its dull,unimaginative,uninspired and the rhyming is incredibly forced.try thinking about what you are writing rather than just venting your anger

c4c
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1220748
ಠ_ಠ
<|>
/ω\



Tell me what nation on this earth, was not born of tragedy-Primordial
#3
I disaree with the above post. I've lately been thouroughly studying the lyrics of Kurt Cobain, my favorite musician, and I can see how this would be a grunge song. It has some similiar charachteristics to that of grunge such as these few lines:

"i don't hate you for yourself
i hate you for who you are
i can believe, that its hard to believe"

The kind of phrasing like in the last line is similiar to something Cobain would write. I thought this was decent. The chorus was quite forced though. I like the shit on me lines and also the common decancy part but the line about the red sea I would avise you change.
I also didn't understand the way the last paragraph should be sung, therefore making it seem off to me. I think it has potential