#1
K guys, so this is a sonnet i wrote for my english class. do your thing:


Like rushing water yet hidden to glances
it wears away at immense expanses
For all to see and admire in wonder
at stunning lines that blind eyes like thunder

It moves the land to form new continents
Controls the world with complete ascendance
And none would try out of a useless plight
to fight the flow and the force of it’s might

Time that builds the world and gives us new life
brings forth destruction and crushes with strife
Just as it shapes a marvelous earth
it lays to waste it’s secrets and worth

For time to build it must destroy the past
and for this reason life cannot stand fast.


K so volta (switch in mood) at line 9
Rhyme scheme: AABBCCDDEEFFGG
and its basically about how time is an unstoppable force, but how it has both negative and positive impacts on the world
i got the inspiration for the first 4 lines from the cover for Scale the Summit's "Carving Desert Canyons"

do you guys have any recommendations or do you notice anything wrong?
#3
I don't mean to be a jerk but read the forum rules before posting. The title of the thread must only be the title of the actual piece with the exception of W.I.P. or O.T.S. and such please fix this.
#4
Quote by muel333
I don't mean to be a jerk but read the forum rules before posting. The title of the thread must only be the title of the actual piece with the exception of W.I.P. or O.T.S. and such please fix this.


This.

You can re-post this properly after you check out the rules. Thanks.