#1
Inspired by graffitti and a bus journey. I wrote this on my phone lol, I'm aware it needs a lot of work, but I think I'll leave it as it is for a while before I start changing things around. I'd appreciate your thoughts, whoever you are.

I dressed in grey today
so I could blend in
with the s[b][i][/i][/b]hit around me;
no one likes unanswered
questions
and I sure as hell
don't like being looked at either.
I clung tightly
onto the metal can,
just to feel
the icy sting against my fingers.

i did it for the thirll;
for the weightlessness,
the uncertainty.
no lines dictating the flow,
no edges containing the fall;
everything felt just a little more
real

but there was no comfort,
no satisfaction.
just a tiny screaming hope
that i'll end up as a little more

than just a pair of concrete dates.
Last edited by michal23 at Oct 29, 2009,
#2
It was touching. Real good like that. You want to edit, so edit. Whatever you edit is what is right to edit.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
#3
Solid read. The opening is indeed vengeful and indignant, but as it progresses a more conclusive—maybe—sets in and tickles the flow a little.

Chin up.