#2
Critting as I go.

Cheesy intro progression :p
Pretty good vocals come in now, but the "arrrrrrr" is weird.
A nice, strings and strummed chords. Great. Pretty good stuff, Thevocals sound a bit out of place to me... Doesn't blend or something... Try adding reverb?

Cheesy lyrics. The distortion comes in now, cool background vocals.
Ah the cheesy intro riff again

3.22 finally a new riff. Way to repetive to me but I guess that's normal in this style of music.

Pretty good song man, I'd not call it punkrock, but hey...
Nice mix too, except for the vocals which I mentioned.

So yeah that's basically it

Crit mine nao
#3
cheers for the crit, someone honest for once rather than giving me a pat on the back saying well done now crit mine!!!
Check out and rate my songs in my profile if you have a moment to spare
All my Songs are Rock Influenced
#4
hey man thanks for the crit. I don't think your vocals are out of place at all really but I do have the same feeling that they don't quite sit in the mix well (which may just be a volume and verb issue). They kind of sound like a mix between mark hoppus and tom delonge in that you have a similar range to mark and you pronounce things rather strange like tom haha. The quality is good too but it feels like the chorus could get harder than it does in that you could bring out the guitars and let the vox sit back a bit. I like the bridge riff most and the very last chorus where you add some "la la's." Lyrics I usually don't really comment on unless they're great but I kind of agree in that it feels like I've heard this before. But then again, that's going to happen. Especially within the genre. Keep up the work!
#5
You want a crit? You shall have one...

I listened to it twice now. What comes to mind immediately is that it's just very repetitive. I mean the song is 5:10 but half way through you've basically heard the whole song.
Not that the song is bad or anything, for me there's just a lack of variety.
Secondly it's missing something that would make it stuck in my head. It's too generic. It's like one of these songs you hear on the radio while you're driving in your car, and it's good enough to keep you from switching the channel, but 5 minutes afterwards you wouldn't remember it anymore.
That's one thing the song really needs. Something that makes it more interesting so you wanna listen to it more than once.
That would be the two main complaints I have about this song. I'm not gonna go ahead and tell you that the recording quality and stuff is pretty decent (as far as I can tell, listening through my laptop speakers) 'cause you probably know that yourself.

Thanks for your crit on my song(s) by the way.
#6
Hello.

Just listened to the song, and it sounded pretty good.

I think the background of the track needs a bit more ambience, maybe a little bit more going on. Tuck a few transparant synths in the background, pan em left and right, play with them, try and make your track more organic. I find that little tricks like that can really bring a song to life, and the listener probably won't even notice they are there at first.

The distorted guitars need to be brought in a little heavier. They are sounding a bit thin, and it makes the transition into the chorus not stand out quite as much as it should. You might also want to try doing multiple vocal takes on the chorus to give it more of that sing-along feel in your head.

I would suggest that you shorten the song somewhat, as others have said, you've heard most of the song by the time you're halfway through. I could see what you're going for though, and maybe the length is alright, perhaps add in more instrumental bits and get some interesting melodies to keep the listeners ears focused.

: )

The piano melody that came in at 3:16 was a very nice addition to the song, and I think it would be alright to bring that in more than once. I enjoyed it.

But overall I see a good talent behind the song, and I see a lot of hard work, and I can appreciate that being a fellow self-producer.

I'd like to hear some more from you someday, I think you're doing great.

Keep it up man.

Cheers
#7
I'll basically repeat what other have said but here goes.

I agree about the cheesy intro but it seems to work, it's a cheesy song. Could use a bit of variation in the dynamics though. Vocals are a bit upfront, a slight tempo-synched delay would help that. You also have a slight problem since you only seem to be working with different reverbs on different sources (the drums and piano don't quite "match up" in the room in a way). Setting up a bus and feeding a single reverb to both could work (unless one of the sources has reverb on the sound itself in which case I'd recommend changing that).

Strings could use a bit more variation, at least let them counter the bass line. It's not like you have to write awesome 4-part stuff, just vary things up a bit. Just hum a few fills or connecting phrases to yourself and have the strings play those. Some marcato accents on the 4ths would be nice too.

Chorus is a bit too like the verse but the lift works reasonably well. You do need to change vocal style a bit for the chorus though, it needs a bit of grit. And bring the guitars up a notch. Doubling the piano with guitar around 3:10 and on is a bad move, allow the guitar to do its own thing.

Love the backing vocals when the chorus returns after the 4-min mark.

Overall: good effort on a decent song but it could be much better with some work.
"If money is the root of all evil, I'd like to be a bad, bad man."

- Huey Lewis & the News
#8
i liked the intro. the vocals are good for the style. i like the vibe of this. well produced. dispite what others have said i like the mix i think vocals are where they should be. its a very cetchy song. the chorus needs to be more different/have a diff melody, it sounds just like the verse. i say end it at around 315 no need to drag it out. a cool song buy needs some work.

thanks for the crit bro.