#1
so after another sleepless night spent writing music, I have recorded a new song demo called "Spirals (Uzumaki)" for my apocalyptic album.
It's on my band's profile (see sig). It doesn't have vocals yet, as it's in the middle of the night and I can't record, but I'll probably do some tomorrow. Also, it's a very rough mix so don't expect too much, just wanted some feedback on the riffs and structure etc.


So you can get an idea of what the song's about, here are the lyrics:

(instrumental intro)

Chorus:
Save me, Spare me
This can't be real
Save me, Spare me
I'm just a fool

Verse1:
The spiral takes us down below
We try to hide but it still knows
How to find us how to break us
Till the tides wash it away

Does this feel right to you

Chorus

Verse2:
Oh I can't breathe the air down here
Though it seems so familiar
Dripping sweat and heart beat racing
Tell me when we've gone too far

Chorus

c4c as always.
#2
Shit man. I am honestly very impressed. While the mix is definitely a bit rough around the edges, I can really feel this music. The style is just some thing I have been looking for in music. I have not found a band that could incorporate the atmospheric, astral feeling in music that I dream of. This comes fairly close. The lead riffs are great. I love the reverb and various other effects. With vocals this could be even better, assuming they are done right. If you ever want any proper synths/orchestral elements in any of these songs, or screamed vocals feel free to contact me.
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#3
I liked the build up to the heavy part. It was a little long at the beginning, but nothing that vocals and drums couldn't fix. It reminded me of Opeth a little bit. It definitely sounded like an sweet anthem though
#4
Wow, its really good, even if it is a rough mix. Really brings emotion with it. Its structured pertty well, I think the vocals would give it better structure, since once you got past the first chours it didnt calm back down. But with your soloing, I think you should add just a few full bends in there, to have something different going on.

Really great song man, can't wait for the finished version.
#5
Quote by ethan_hanus
Wow, its really good, even if it is a rough mix. Really brings emotion with it. Its structured pertty well, I think the vocals would give it better structure, since once you got past the first chours it didnt calm back down. But with your soloing, I think you should add just a few full bends in there, to have something different going on.

Really great song man, can't wait for the finished version.

full bends are a slight problem with my guitar, as it's a 28" scale 8-string, and i'm playing pretty heavy strings. I'm always afraid they'll snap when doing bends like that
I need another guitar for doing regular soloing, it's too hard on this one.
#6
Not a big fan of the lead tone at the start, too much like transistor distorsion for me. A proper mix would help this along quite a bit since things get kind of muddy for long parts, the layering and not allowing things to have their own space in the mix kind of detract from the song. The chugging riff that starts at 3:45 sounds a little off-beat to me, it doesn't groove like it could. Might want to re-record this later on. Looking forward to hearing a version with vocals.
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#7
Quote by CoreysMonster
full bends are a slight problem with my guitar, as it's a 28" scale 8-string, and i'm playing pretty heavy strings. I'm always afraid they'll snap when doing bends like that
I need another guitar for doing regular soloing, it's too hard on this one.



Didnt know that, yeah, I think you need just a normal 6 string for solos, but what I should of said was full note bends, not like ultra major crazy bends, just a bend that covers a single note, I do alot of full note bends in my soloing/harmonizing. I think it adds alot of feel to solos.
#8
man! this is awsome. the recording came out studio quaility.it doesnt sound like you used the 8 string that much, maybe the 7th string more. what did you do for drums BTW? a drum machine? i think this song would be better as an instrumental . if you dont mind you would you care to look at my videos playing guitar? they probably arnt your cup of tea though and i wont force you to watch them but it would be nice. thanks and good luck

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1224055
Last edited by slayerfrk at Nov 1, 2009,
#9
yeah, I usually write my songs using mainly the seventh string, so that I can use the 8th for lower notes, accents, what have you.
#10
Uploaded a new mix, tried to get a bit more clarity in the mix, added more punch to the kick and snare, cleaned up the lead guitars in the heavy part
#11
lucky for you , theres pretty much nothing wrong with your track spirals uzamaki mix 2 , it's like crystal clear. I'm not here to crit the song itself but i'd say the intro is a bit long but you know it's all opinion so ignore that haha