#1
So, this is a song i originally concepted about 2 or 3 years ago, and i just finished it. I think it's the third time i've rewritten it now, hence the (3) in the title.

PS, the midi is missing some of the basslines.

KINGEDIT: Post #9 has an updated version of the guitar pro file.
Attachments:
Old World Music.gp5
Old World Music MIDI2.mid
There's a special sex move I do called the Charizard.
It's where you light the girls pubes, then put it out with your cum and run around the room flapping your arms screaming, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
Last edited by King Twili at Nov 5, 2009,
#2
I really like this. You get a really cool sound out of just the midi. My only complaint so far is that the progression is very typical, sounds like something from Metallica. I can definatly see where you're getting the title Old World.

I love the string harmonies in the Chorus, adds a nice vibe to it. Okay Verse 2 is nice, but I think you should try adding something else to it to make it stand out. One of the best things you can do is to change it up every time you come to a similar section. It just adds that extra bit of professionalism.

I love the solo. It's catchy, and you focus on articulation, which is very important to me. I feel you should probably expand on it a bit, maybe modulate it around a bit instead of sticking to the same thing, and then you can repeat the chorus in a different key or something like that to change it up a bit. At first I thought the ending chord didn't work, but on a second listening I think it actually is really cool!

Great job overall man! Keep it up! Crit mine? It's a lot different but give it a listen if you want:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1223278
#3
Quote by TheNoManBand
I really like this. You get a really cool sound out of just the midi. My only complaint so far is that the progression is very typical, sounds like something from Metallica. I can definatly see where you're getting the title Old World.

I love the string harmonies in the Chorus, adds a nice vibe to it. Okay Verse 2 is nice, but I think you should try adding something else to it to make it stand out. One of the best things you can do is to change it up every time you come to a similar section. It just adds that extra bit of professionalism.

I love the solo. It's catchy, and you focus on articulation, which is very important to me. I feel you should probably expand on it a bit, maybe modulate it around a bit instead of sticking to the same thing, and then you can repeat the chorus in a different key or something like that to change it up a bit. At first I thought the ending chord didn't work, but on a second listening I think it actually is really cool!

Great job overall man! Keep it up! Crit mine? It's a lot different but give it a listen if you want:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1223278



Could you please explain the bolded part? But anyway, thanks very much for the crit, i know exactly what i need to change now.
There's a special sex move I do called the Charizard.
It's where you light the girls pubes, then put it out with your cum and run around the room flapping your arms screaming, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
#4
i wasnt really a fan of the chords in the intro. too overused. the last bar of the riff is really cool though. drums are cool but they could be more interesting. overall the progression is pretty generic you could probably stand to add some color tones to those chords.

I see what you are getting at trying to build the verse into the chorus but i think there needs to be a little more contrast within the part to make more of a build up.

chorus wasnt too bad. nothing too memorable for me though

the solo was good but im not really a fan of solos in a song when the rest of it could be more thought out
Quote by shakin'cakes
First of all, I enjoy deathcore for it's complexity and it's the only genre heavy enough for me



Quote by Highway60Bob
I want an amp good for playing hippie tunes. I want it to be an actual amp, not a tube amp.
#5
Quote by pmeg568c
i wasnt really a fan of the chords in the intro. too overused. the last bar of the riff is really cool though. drums are cool but they could be more interesting. overall the progression is pretty generic you could probably stand to add some color tones to those chords.

I see what you are getting at trying to build the verse into the chorus but i think there needs to be a little more contrast within the part to make more of a build up.

chorus wasnt too bad. nothing too memorable for me though

the solo was good but im not really a fan of solos in a song when the rest of it could be more thought out



Thanks for the crit, but could you try to be a little more constructive? i.e. Give examples of what i could do, or how you think i could improve it?
There's a special sex move I do called the Charizard.
It's where you light the girls pubes, then put it out with your cum and run around the room flapping your arms screaming, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
#6
Hey man, I really like it. Drums sound awesome and it's very well put together. The chords were fine IMO and I really liked the solo. Not bad seeing as you're only 15 years old and started writing it when you were what? 13?

My only contribution would be for you to mix things up a little more with the strings and possibly the chorus.

But all in all, a very good song. Keep up the good work!
#7
I dunno i thought that was pretty constructive hah. I think if you are going to keep that progression i would suggest adding some color tones to the chords to make some more interesting voice leading. Even if you did something simple like add a 9 on top of the power chord, or a major or minor 6th, those often can be used anywhere to voice lead power chords together.

as far as more contrast i would say like add another repeating rhythmic motive toward the end when you have everything building up but nothing is catching on as well as the chords because it isn't repeated. if you added another motive toward the end i think it would tie it in better.
Quote by shakin'cakes
First of all, I enjoy deathcore for it's complexity and it's the only genre heavy enough for me



Quote by Highway60Bob
I want an amp good for playing hippie tunes. I want it to be an actual amp, not a tube amp.
#8
i really enjoyed this piece!
but plz do something else with the intro....every part in your song is original exept for the intro!
i loved bar 47
the strings are a great idea! but i suggest you try a background melody with it on the verse...
Solo is nice! one thing i prefer, in bar 103, full bend the 22 fret on the high E string, imo its better
one more thing, it get repetitive after the solo, i think u should add some variation from here....
overall this is a nice songs! just work more the prefection thing ...

C4C?https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1217896
#9
So...

As requested, i fiddled around with parts of it slightly, and added piano to the chorus.

Again, crits would be very welcome.
Attachments:
Old World Music.gp5
There's a special sex move I do called the Charizard.
It's where you light the girls pubes, then put it out with your cum and run around the room flapping your arms screaming, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
#10
I actually really like this. The strings are a nice touch my friend! I think that song would go well with lyrics of some sort. I'd like to try and write some for it if you're okay with it
#11
Quote by dash-rendar
I actually really like this. The strings are a nice touch my friend! I think that song would go well with lyrics of some sort. I'd like to try and write some for it if you're okay with it



I already wrote some, you can check them out of you like, they're the "dot" (period/fullstop/decimal) in my sig.
There's a special sex move I do called the Charizard.
It's where you light the girls pubes, then put it out with your cum and run around the room flapping your arms screaming, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"