#1
There's a facebook war going on about two third level institutes in Galway, Ireland.
Would you like to share some jokes about rival colleges that ye've heard, like
"How do you get a GMIT student off your doorstep? Pay him for the Pizza!"
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Quote by Kanthras
2/10

No fire extinguisher reference, unoriginal, no Militia flamebait, disappointing.

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#3
harvard and yale, anyone?
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
He to whom this emotion is a stranger,
who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead; his eyes are closed."
- Albert Einstein
#4
Manchester Metropolitan University Vs University of Manchester, wherever there's groups of both and alcohol, someone gets the whole group singing "I'D RATHER BE A POLY THAN A C*NT!" to the tune of "Coming round the mountain". I guess it's the same in every city where there's a redbrick and a former polytechnic.
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#5
i thought we were talking about sports rivalries here...
Quote by Duff_McGee
Everyone knows that the day the Metallica ends, the world ends.
#6
I'm from UCL. King's College is naturally Strand Polytechnic, and Imperial is the University of London School of Mandarin and Sudoku.


I'm Burlington Bertie,
I'm short, fat and dirty,
My college portrays my high class - high class.
I walk down the Strand,
With my cock in my hand,
And wave it at King's as I pass.
Oh Bert, Bert,
I come in my shirt,
At least I go to UC - UC.
There's one thing I'm sure of,
Strand Poly are wankers,
I'm Burlington Bert from UC.
#7
Quote by webbtje
I'm from UCL. King's College is naturally Strand Polytechnic, and Imperial is the University of London School of Mandarin and Sudoku.


I'm Burlington Bertie,
I'm short, fat and dirty,
My college portrays my high class - high class.
I walk down the Strand,
With my cock in my hand,
And wave it at King's as I pass.
Oh Bert, Bert,
I come in my shirt,
At least I go to UC - UC.
There's one thing I'm sure of,
Strand Poly are wankers,
I'm Burlington Bert from UC.

That's ****ing terrible
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#8
How many Scottish students does it take to change a lightbulb? (I did not write this)

Glasgow University - 76
One to change the light bulb, fifty to protest the light bulb's right not to change and twenty-five to hold a counter protest.

Strathclyde - 5
One to design a nuclear powered bulb that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Scotland using that nuked light bulb, two to install it and one to write the computer programme that controls the switch.

Caledonian - 7
One to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.

Edinburgh - 1
He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

St Andrews - 3
One to call the butler and two to arrange a tailor in Rome to design and make new suits for the special occasion. If a light bulb in a major building blows then increase to 27 to allow for a brass band playing the last post and five Sun reporters. The following day's Sun will contain something along the lines of "Will's Pals in Blown Bulb Horror".

Heriot Watt - 3
One to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.

Napier - Only one, but he gets 10 course credits for it.

Dundee - 10
One to buy and fit the bulb and nine to petition for the electrification of Dundee.

Aberdeen - 2
One to change the light bulb and one to crack under the pressure.

Stirling - 0
Stirling looks better in the dark.

RSAMD - 5
One to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance about it.
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#9
Props to the MMU/ University of Manchester one. The popular joke is MMU's initials stand for Mickey Mouse University

EDIT: ^^^ at Stirling looks better in the dark
Last edited by LordBishek at Nov 2, 2009,
#10
Quote by Random88

Edinburgh - 1
He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.



Eerily accurate.
#14
Quote by Cal UK


I go to Hallam, we're not all bellends I promise.


I'm sure you're not. There's a tonne of twats up this end of the city though.
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


Quote by titsmcgee852
I want to look at your sexual naked body.
#15
Edinburgh - 1
He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.


Can say that about Warwick students
#16
Quote by webbtje
Eerily accurate.

I go to Edinburgh.

It is true for around 90% of the students though, although thankfully my Engineering course isn't too full of those kinds of people
FALKIRK

We'll win something someday

Quote by Minkaro
Falkirk is the home of runners up.

Check out my Tunes
#17
Quote by Ed Hunter
I'm sure you're not. There's a tonne of twats up this end of the city though.



i saw that story in the paper with the actual picture accompanying it; hilarious.
#18
Quote by Random88
I go to Edinburgh.

It is true for around 90% of the students though, although thankfully my Engineering course isn't too full of those kinds of people



The Mrs goes there so I see it fairly often. Never have I seen so much Jack Wills
#19
Quote by Random88
How many Scottish students does it take to change a lightbulb? (I did not write this)

Glasgow University - 76
One to change the light bulb, fifty to protest the light bulb's right not to change and twenty-five to hold a counter protest.
/snip

As an alumnus of this august institution, I can only say I don't know where this comes from.
I obviously spent too much time in the QMU/Solid/Bier Halle to notice any of the protesting malarky.
I even missed the botany building catching fire in 2001, despite the fact that the induction for my 3rd year classes was in the Joe Black(right next door). I skipped the afternoon ones and got drunk.
#20
Quote by Random88
How many Scottish students does it take to change a lightbulb? (I did not write this)

St Andrews - 3
One to call the butler and two to arrange a tailor in Rome to design and make new suits for the special occasion. If a light bulb in a major building blows then increase to 27 to allow for a brass band playing the last post and five Sun reporters. The following day's Sun will contain something along the lines of "Will's Pals in Blown Bulb Horror".

Hey! I'm part of the peasant population of St Andrews...

Quote by webbtje
The Mrs goes there so I see it fairly often. Never have I seen so much Jack Wills

Come to St Andrews, every other person has Jack Wills written across them.
#21
Quote by aaronni
Hey! I'm part of the peasant population of St Andrews...


Come to St Andrews, every other person has Jack Wills written across them.

Who is this 'Jack Wills', and why does he write his name on posh students?
#22
Because why wear a £5 T shirt when you can get exactly the same thing with someone's name on the front for £50?
#24
Quote by webbtje
Because why wear a £5 T shirt when you can get exactly the same thing with someone's name on the front for £50?

Obviously, the name makes it at least 10 times as good.
That's why I wear only quality items, like the ones Tesco sell for even less than £5 a time.
Quote by Craigo
You should hear our football chants, they're pretty much in the same air apart from in strong local accents

My favourite, learned as a youngster in the South Stand of Dens Park
*clears throat*
"F*ck you;
F*ck you;
F;
U;
C;
K;
Y;
O;
U"
Repeat
Last edited by MightyAl at Nov 2, 2009,
#25
Quote by webbtje
Because why wear a £5 T shirt when you can get exactly the same thing with someone's name on the front for £50?

Exactly!
A mate dragged me in the St Andrews shop once, if I bought anything I wouldn't be eating for weeks!
#26
Quote by Ed Hunter
I'm sure you're not. There's a tonne of twats up this end of the city though.

Which bit of the city you in? Are you Uni of Sheffield?
Looking to buy a Fender Jagstang, u sellin?
#27
Quote by Cal UK
Which bit of the city you in? Are you Uni of Sheffield?


Certainly am. Up at Ranmoor where dwell the rich and annoying. I got put here by accident as I asked for the cheapest shelter going and they gave me the brand new village which is full of noisy, messy twats.
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


Quote by titsmcgee852
I want to look at your sexual naked body.
#28
Quote by Ed Hunter
Certainly am. Up at Ranmoor where dwell the rich and annoying. I got put here by accident as I asked for the cheapest shelter going and they gave me the brand new village which is full of noisy, messy twats.

Ah sounds like fun, a lot of nob's here too, noisy, slaggy, stupid. Oh well, I should've worked harder. My mate's at Ranmoor actually, I don't know whether I ought to disclose his name on the 'net. Balls to it, he's called Liam and has blonde hair, first year doing history.
Looking to buy a Fender Jagstang, u sellin?