#1
At Lighthouse Church of All Nations in Alsip, the congregation can get more than just prayer at the Sunday worship services. If a lucky -- or "blessed and highly favored" -- churchgoer is in the right seat, they can also receive a cash prize.

At each of the three Sunday services, the Rev. Dan Willis pulls a number of one seat from a bag and the worshiper in that seat wins a cash prize. Two of the churchgoers win $250 and the third gets $500. The church gives away $1,000 each Sunday, Willis said.

They say it's to help get their congregations moving back toward a debt-free life, but those of us who got Bush's stimulus checks know that a few hundred dollars just reminds you how fucked you are. Plus the "blessed and highly favored" line kinda shows who's gonna win the prize.

Here's the big one:
Willis concedes the cash prize is a gimmick to fill the pews. But he's unapologetic about the plan, because it's working. On a typical Sunday, his church draws about 1,600 people to its three Sunday services. But since the money giveaway started, about five weeks ago, the congregation has grown to about 2,500 each week, he said. The money for the giveaway comes from the church offering. Lighthouse is a non-denominational church.

If every family (let's say every three people) give just ten bucks every week, the church makes an extra $3000 at every service over the non-gimmick. It's a God Lottery.

Make fun of this, Pit.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#5
Quote by MightyAl
The guys' name is only one letter away from being willies.
lol

-

#6
Quote by Jaymz_515
I'd need about tree fiddy.

Damn you Loch Ness Monsta!

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#7
Church = fail.

They're sitting there napping, with the alarm set on their cellphones to wake them up from dreams about Japanese massage therapists and a whole lot of Astroglide. And they hope to get paid for it, cause they happen to be sitting in the right seat.
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#10
its sad that they've gotten to such a point of desperation that they would pay you to come.
#11
Quote by rigiddigits
Wtf is this shit, and more importantly why is this church not in England?
Too many socialists and not enough pure capitalists, I'd imagine.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#12
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
Too many socialists and not enough pure capitalists, I'd imagine.


/facepalm.

Read a newspaper, you'll see all the good capitalism has done for everyone.
Gear:
08' Gibson Les Paul Studio
Peavey Valveking 112 w/ Vintage 30
Peavy Vypyr 15 watt
MXR 10 Band EQ
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Boss DS-1
Dunlop 535Q Wah

Death to all butt metal.
#13
Quote by TheLifeguard
/facepalm.

Read a newspaper, you'll see all the good capitalism has done for everyone.

Read his post again. He didn't make any value judgements on the systems. You're either confused or a troll.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#14
Hell yeah, I need the money.
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#15
I'm a bit worried when a church has to name iteslf "Church of All Nations".
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#16
Well, there has been a large drop in the number of people going to church recently, which is a shame. But the fact that they're paying people to go to church is a bigger shame.
#17
Quote by Alex Vik
Well, there has been a large drop in the number of people going to church recently, which is a shame. But the fact that they're paying people to go to church is a bigger shame.

Oh yeah, definetely.
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#19
Pathetic.

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MUFC


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Berserker.
#20
At least you have a chance of getting your money back so it's got one up of scientology.
#21
Quote by Kensai
Oh yeah, definetely.


http://www.d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y.com/


So they're selling out now, I liked the first albums better. When it was all killing people who didn't believe.
And what is more, there's been a bloody purple nose and some bloody purple clothes that were messing up the lobby floor. It's just apartment house rules so all you 'partment fools remember : one man's ceiling is another man's floor.
#22
What about people like me who are incapacitated and bedridden and attend church Sunday mornings via a live video feed, am I still eligible?
#23
Quote by Alex Vik

I mean it. It's a huge shame.
Quote by Mister.Y
http://www.d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y.com/


So they're selling out now, I liked the first albums better. When it was all killing people who didn't believe.


Thanks, I definetely care.
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#24
Quote by Myfirstpubes
its sad that they've gotten to such a point of desperation that they would pay you to come.

Wouldn't be the first time I've been paid to come


...
#25
Quote by SteveHouse
Read his post again. He didn't make any value judgements on the systems. You're either confused or a troll.
Thanks Steve. It amuses me how if you mention even capitalism or socialism, some dolt will take that as a cue to go off on a tangent about the values/problems with either.


Back on topic:
I'd like to laugh at this article, but really I can't.
It's just a sad state of affairs and rather vulgar, imho.
If you can't pack 'em in with the message, maybe you need to change the way you deliver the message, not create an artificial audience.

Save the gaming for bingo or smth.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#26
anyone else think its still not worth it? like id go once and if i won it cool if not then whatever
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#27
Quote by Myfirstpubes
its sad that they've gotten to such a point of desperation that they would pay you to come.


this...

people as Christians aren't doing their duty of spreading the word of GOD and getting people in there, the way it should be done. but then again many people are confused by the fallacies spread outside of the church as well. at least those in there are getting a good dose of truth (hopefully)...

Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
Save the gaming for bingo or smth.


how about giving it to people who actually need it?
Quote by Duff_McGee
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Last edited by joshua029 at Nov 2, 2009,
#28
Quote by joshua029
this...

people as Christians aren't doing their duty of spreading the word of GOD and getting people in there, the way it should be done. but then again many people are confused by the phallus's spread outside of the church as well. at least those in there are getting a good dose of truth (hopefully)...


how about giving it to people who actually need it?

Spot the fix, lawl.

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Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#29
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew

I'd like to laugh at this article, but really I can't.
It's just a sad state of affairs and rather vulgar, imho.
If you can't pack 'em in with the message, maybe you need to change the way you deliver the message, not create an artificial audience.

Save the gaming for bingo or smth.

I agree that it's a damn wreck, but in my world (you don't want to live here, trust me) those are the very things we need to poke fun at. Imagine if everyone was super serial about the Presidents and stuff, I mean, all he would need is a foreign sounding name and people would be like "OMG he's not Mur'kan!" Oh, wait.

tl;dr: Yeah it's a shame, but lighten up!

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


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#30
Quote by Zero-Hartman
Spot the fix, lawl.


what exactly what the point of that? im confused...
Quote by Duff_McGee
Everyone knows that the day the Metallica ends, the world ends.
Last edited by joshua029 at Nov 2, 2009,
#31
Quote by joshua029
what exactly what the point of that? i'm confused...

Made me lol.
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#32
Quote by joshua029
what exactly what the point of that? i'm confused...

I'm so lonely

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#33
Quote by joshua029
how about giving it to people who actually need it?
It's not always just one or the other, you know.
Sometimes the proceeds (profit) from bingo goes to people in need.
Or sometimes it's used to pay for costs involved in upkeep for church properties, etc.
Or for scholarship funds.
All sorts of things.
The prize isn't the total amount. That's the way those games work.
People play for entertainment and it also funds things that are needed.
And sometimes the winners donate their prize back to the cause, but that's their choice.

Quote by SteveHouse
tl;dr: Yeah it's a shame, but lighten up!
meh, just one of those things that strikes me personally as being sad.
How about if I promise to laugh at your next subject of ridicule?
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#34
Quote by Zero-Hartman
I'm so lonely


Not as much as that other guy with the bath and the pills and the thread an the pit and the OIOIOOIGLAIVIN.
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Quote by alans056
Maybe the price tag is clouding your judgment ?
yeah probably. Or the circuits.
#35
Quote by PussyPunk182
Not as much as that other guy with the bath and the pills and the thread an the pit and the OIOIOOIGLAIVIN.


Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#36
so....they have to pay to be eligible to win? GAMBLING!
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Quote by firebird103
I'm pretty sure you just won the thread. I can confirm everything you just said as well being a heavily qualified geek myself....

Congrats sir
#37
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew


meh, just one of those things that strikes me personally as being sad.
How about if I promise to laugh at your next subject of ridicule?


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Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)