#1
Probably super-cleche'd ...Please crit honestly.

Stay With Me (Revised Slightly)

If I'm still here tomorrow,
If I live through the night,
Everything will be alright,

I will be just fine,
If I Make it through the night,
I will be just fine,
If you stay with me again.

I know you say you love me,
I know you say you love me,
So please don't leave me standing here,
Beside myself.

And I know we don't,
And I know that we don't always,
Get along,
But nothing's wrong.

Just so long as you stay with me.

And I will be just fine,
If I make through the night,
I will be just fine,
If you stay with me again.

No, it doesn't have to be this way,
If you stay with me today,
If you stay with me tomorrow,
It could be a better day.

And I will be just fine,
If I make it through the night,
I will be just fine,
If you stay with me again. (fades)

Yeah, very cleche'd anyway there it is, hope I didn't waste too much of anybody's valuable time.
Last edited by Cream-fan-#1 at Nov 3, 2009,
#2
Hey what's up.
I think it's o.k but maybe you could try to apply richer vocabulary alright.
Also you could elaborate a little bit cause you were kind of repeating the same thought ?!
Anyway it's just my personal opinion, and I'm no professional. peace out.
#3
Yeah, fair enough I've only just started with the whole song-writing bit, haven't really figured out how to have something remotely resembling a song and at the same time use complex vocabulary, guess with practice... Thanks for the comment.