#1
This is my first post on here. I'm quite new to the song writing world. I'm finding it a good form of excape.

This song is about my younger brother, he's going through some troubled times.

I would appreciate some feedback.

"
VERSE
I love you more than words could say

It’s killing me to see you in this way

You know I found the razor in your guitar

Please tell me what is wrong and how I can help


I would sell my soul for your freedom

Because your life means more than my world

And to set you free from all of your pain

Is something that is constantly on my mind

CHORUS
So brother do you know come to me and I will tell you

Just how much I care

And I want you to know

I will be here for you

Forever and after

Forever and after

VERSE
Just how long has this been going on?

Have I been blind to the truth?

Or too selfish to let you into my world

I’m trembling with fear of the unknown


You are an angel, just blemished

Find the path and show me your world

Talk to me and find yourself within

Look at me and smile just to make my day

CHORUS
So brother do you know come to me and I will tell you

Just how much I care

And I want you to know

I will be here for you

Forever and after

Forever and after


I’ve been kept in the dark about this

Now all I hope is to have your forgiveness

When you feel lonely always call on me

Come on outside and I will show you the world

CHORUS
So brother do you know come to me and I will tell you

Just how much I care

And I want you to know

I will be here for you

Forever and after

Forever and after"
#3
Thanks. I'm pretty sure everything has blown over now and he is alright. I only talk to him on the phone now because im at university in Bangor and he is in Devon.

Any more crit?