#1
i wrote this in thinking of a father goodbye to his daughter and going into battle. Might be a bit generic, but i'm still very new to writing.


I have to go now, a great time it’s been
On a ship we sail across the ocean
Into the sea of sand, where the battle lies
Keep my image here, forever in your eyes

(chorus)
Where I go
You cannot follow
I’ll be back someday
Just not tomorrow
Just not tomorrow
(chorus)

I leave you behind, for here is where it’s safe
In the land of the free and home of the brave
I’ll think of you, when things get hard
Cause my love for you, keeps you never that far

(chorus)
Where I go
You cannot follow
I’ll be back someday
Just not tomorrow
Just not tomorrow
(chorus)

(bridge)
It’s a new day now, and the sky rains fire
I scream and press on for one more day with you
Into smoke and ash I run, these times are dire
Some of us will make it, I’m not among the few
(bridge)

I’m sorry me dear, I broke my promise
I know their comforts, will bring you no solace
I did what I could, to keep you safe
I sleep here now, forever in this place
Last edited by lilcurtis at Nov 3, 2009,
#2
Loved it man, Mad respect for our soldiers, this hits home with me. My cousin was killed last year, luckily he didn't have any children.
#3
Thanks. I'm glad those with ties to the subject matter can connect with it. Sorry to hear about your cousin.
#4
I think the simplicity in this is actually what draws me to it so much. It's hard-hitting and avoids being bogged down with over-the-top metaphors and wispy wordplay. I thought at first it had the vibe of a protest song but don't think that's what I'd call it. Either way, I like it.

My only criticism would be to consider exploring some different ideas with the "land of the free, home of the brave". It actually works and you've pulled it off well, but I just find that its a bit overplayed sometimes in songs of this nature.
#5
Aweosome.
The Bridge is a LITTLE over the top tho.
"Black gives way to more black."




I have UG Black Style and I can barely read my signature.

Also, I like black.


~DawnwalkerALL HAIL COMRADE DAWNWALKER
#6
Quote by macrea

My only criticism would be to consider exploring some different ideas with the "land of the free, home of the brave". It actually works and you've pulled it off well, but I just find that its a bit overplayed sometimes in songs of this nature.


yeah i thought the same thing but it fit in well so i left it lol. and yeah i may change the bridge as well. i wasn't too set on it. thanks for the comments. gives me something to work on.
#7
Awesome lyrics. I'm a 4th Class Cadet, so in 4 years I'll be a platoon leader maybe in the thick of things. Both my parents are former military, too. I know a lot of people who would like this. What were you planning on doing with this instrumentally?
They say that in the army, the food is mighty fine.
The chicken jumped off the table and killed a friend of mine.

Oh lord, I want to go home.
But they won't let me go-o
Ho-oho-ohohahohohome. Hey!
#8
id hadnt really given too much thought to the instrumental part of it yet. I originally thought it might work for some stuff i had come up with, but i'm 2nd guessing that. here is a link to a midi turned wav file for what is possibly an option.

Test Music