#1
Jonathan's funeral was today. It was awful in an unexpected way. No one cried, not his mother, his father, his friends, not even me. We all lined up like Catholic children in a choir around the grave and watched him get lowered slowly, surely, barely, as if the men lowering the casket were giving us or anyone time to shed one single tear, it didn't happen. We all kicked dirt on his casket, the women complained because their shoes got dirty, the men complained just because. It was a sad day though, in an unexpected way.

Adam told me at the gathering after that he had ****ed his girlfriend in his car during the funeral.

"Best sex I ever had", he said.

I am sorry Jonathan, for that, for him, for me, for your family.

"I can't believe you had sex during Jonathan's funeral."

"Don't play me out to be some horrible person. Do you think he would have cared? No one really wanted to be there, if they did they didn't act like it. I came on her face, all over her ****ing face. Jonathan would have loved it."

He was right though. I hate funerals. I would like to meet someone who enjoys going to funerals. I want to ask him/her what his parents were like. How did he/she do in school? Do they find the same pleasure in life as they do in death? Oh, and he was also right about the second part, Jonathan probably would have awarded him with a high five or something of the sort, he loved those sorts of jokes.

I left the gathering after our friend, Jonathans now ex girlfriend Ashley, started singing karaoke. Since I left my bike at the cemetery and caught a ride with Adam I walked the four miles back to my place. I didn't understand I guess, the leisurely ways of grieving that were expressed today. When they were putting him in the ground I kind of felt like crying, I really did, I held it in because I didn't want to be embarassed being the only one to cry. How sad is that though? Holding in your emotions because you're afraid that those around you, the people you love, are going to judge you. How terrible is it that society doesn't let you properly grieve the loss of a friend? How terrible is it really?

To be honest though, it wasn't that I wanted to cry because Jonathan had died, it was because no one else was crying. He deserved one tear, maybe. He did fu.ck the first girlfriend I ever had and besides that had an affinity for being a pretty shit.ty friend, but I think everyone deserves at least one tear at their own funeral, even if its from the person least closest to him, from the confused lady in the back who doesn't even know why she's crying, from the birds on the wires above the cemetery watching because they don't know what else to do, from anyone or anything. I was about half way back home then. My feet were frozen, my hands the same. Today was a shit.ty day, in an unexpected sort of way.

--------------------------------

You forget about all the delicacies that line the city when you only drive in cars. To really experience the city you need to walk through it, very slowly, to be able to stare into all the alleyways, the billboard signs tucked behind other billboard signs all begging you to come inside whatever store it is they attempt to mark your mind with. I see a man, then a woman, then a man, then a child, all beardless, all freshly showered in rainwater, all staring at me because they don't know where else to look. They smell like salt. They reak of piss. I hate the city. I hate to have to walk through it. Everyone spits at me, I spit back at them. I miss Jonathan. Today was a shit.ty day, in the worst sort of way.

---------------------------------

Almost home now, or am I? A few more blocks, I think. I turned around half way and walked back to the cemetery. Half way back to the cemetery I turned around again. I've got nothing to say to him or anyone for that matter. I caught the bus and got off at the stop closest to my house. I need to sleep. I need to fu.ck. I need to eat. I need to make a fire and jump inside of it. I've got no reception on my cell phone right now, I've got no money and no friends to call. Today was a sh.itty day, in every sort of way.
#4
thank you. i've been writing more longer fiction lately, idk how good i am at it, but i'm trying to get a series together. we'll see how it goes i guess.
#6
This felt (physically, in a sense) a little loose, sir. I definitely like the feeling (emotionally) I get, though.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

#7
This is one of my favorites from you. Just because of personal beliefs, " I came on her face, all over her ****ing face" was a little much for me, but I think it brought something to the piece and should be kept in.
Great read.
#9
Quote by rushmore
Jonathan's funeral was today. It was awful in an unexpected way. No one cried, not his mother, his father, his friends, not even me. We all lined up like Catholic children in a choir around the grave and watched him get lowered slowly, surely, barely, as if the men lowering the casket were giving us or anyone time to shed one single tear, it didn't happen. We all kicked dirt on his casket, the women complained because their shoes got dirty, the men complained just because. It was a sad day though, in an unexpected way.

Adam told me at the gathering after that he had ****ed his girlfriend in his car during the funeral.

"Best sex I ever had", he said.

I am sorry Jonathan, for that, for him, for me, for your family.

"I can't believe you had sex during Jonathan's funeral."

"Don't play me out to be some horrible person. Do you think he would have cared? No one really wanted to be there, if they did they didn't act like it. I came on her face, all over her ****ing face. Jonathan would have loved it."

He was right though. I hate funerals. I would like to meet someone who enjoys going to funerals. I want to ask him/her what his parents were like. How did he/she do in school? Do they find the same pleasure in life as they do in death? Oh, and he was also right about the second part, Jonathan probably would have awarded him with a high five or something of the sort, he loved those sorts of jokes.

I left the gathering after our friend, Jonathans now ex girlfriend Ashley, started singing karaoke. Since I left my bike at the cemetery and caught a ride with Adam I walked the four miles back to my place. I didn't understand I guess, the leisurely ways of grieving that were expressed today. When they were putting him in the ground I kind of felt like crying, I really did, I held it in because I didn't want to be embarassed being the only one to cry. How sad is that though? Holding in your emotions because you're afraid that those around you, the people you love, are going to judge you. How terrible is it that society doesn't let you properly grieve the loss of a friend? How terrible is it, really?
I would add a comma here for emphasis and tone
To be honest though, it wasn't that I wanted to cry because Jonathan had died, it was because no one else was crying. He deserved one tear, maybe. He did fu.ck the first girlfriend I ever had and besides that had an affinity for being a pretty shit.ty friend, but I think everyone deserves at least one tear at their own funeral, even if its from the person least closest to him, from the confused lady in the back who doesn't even know why she's crying, from the birds on the wires above the cemetery watching because they don't know what else to do, from anyone or anything. I was about half way back home then. My feet were frozen, my hands the same. Today was a shit.ty day, in an unexpected sort of way.
Repitition of 'friend'. Intentional? Doesn't sound right. Take away the first friend so it says just 'girl' or the second friend and change it to 'guy'
--------------------------------

You forget about all the delicacies that line the city when you only drive in cars. To really experience the city you need to walk through it, very slowly, to be able to stare into all the alleyways, the billboard signs tucked behind other billboard signs all begging you to come inside whatever store it is they attempt to mark your mind with. I see a man, then a woman, then a man, then a child, all beardless, all freshly showered in rainwater, all staring at me because they don't know where else to look. They smell like salt. They reak of piss. I hate the city. I hate to have to walk through it. Everyone spits at me, I spit back at them. I miss Jonathan. Today was a shit.ty day, in the worst sort of way.
I would change 'stare' to 'peer'-but that's just my opinion
---------------------------------

Almost home now, or am I? A few more blocks, I think. I turned around half way and walked back to the cemetery. Half way back to the cemetery I turned around again. I've got nothing to say to him or anyone for that matter. I caught the bus and got off at the stop closest to my house. I need to sleep. I need to fu.ck. I need to eat. I need to make a fire and jump inside of it. I've got no reception on my cell phone right now, I've got no money and no friends to call. Today was a sh.itty day, in every sort of way.


Groovy piece. Mind you don't have to make any of the changes if you don't like, it is after all, yours.
Quote by ultimatedaver
We're just trying to help man, cause it doesn't seem like you can get any pizza.
#10
love it, what else is new.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




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theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja