#1
Here's One Of My Best Songs I Wrote So Far. I Tried To Make A Mix Of Metalcore and Punk (Punk chorus, Breakdowns, Tapping Solo, etc.) I Think It's Kinda Good. Hope You'll Enjoy And I Would Appreciate Any Constructive Comments

P.S. Listen To It In Midi but Sounds Well In RSE Either

Paradox Empire

There is the first version (...Pop Core) and the second version (...Pop Core (2)) where I shortened the drum ''solo''. Hope you'll enjoy and Comment !!!
Attachments:
...Pop Core.zip
...Pop Core (2).zip
Last edited by Paradox_Empire7 at Nov 15, 2009,
#2
I must say, I didn't expect anything off of the title


...I must also add that i really like it
Quote by Demonikk
'Practice amp' = amp you practice with? In my case, Peavey 6505+ and 4x12
I don't do things small


Except children.
#3
please stop writing like that!!!!! it's so frickin annoying on the eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!

btw very nice I liked it a lot
#4
he probably wrote it as all caps.
Quote by Demonikk
'Practice amp' = amp you practice with? In my case, Peavey 6505+ and 4x12
I don't do things small


Except children.
#6
Surely it takes longer to actually type versus standard use of capitals :P

Idk what genre i put this under. I didn't find it upbeat enough, except the chorus, to be labeled as Popcore but who cares, it's just a label.

Only 2 things i didn't like were the "drum solo", i removed those 4 bars and simply went straight into the pre-chorus and it worked better for me (it also satisfies that whole building up into end chorus vibe imo) and I found the section containing bars 145 - 161 was too long. I felt like it killed the pace (which it was meant to do) but it does it for too long so you like lose the energy that was building up to go back into that chorus again if you know what i mean.
#7
Thanks for your comments 21fretter, I don't really why I put ''popcore'' I think it,s juste because I didn't know what else to put and for the drum solo it's because I needed a transition between the solo and the pre-chorus, but I'll try your suggestions !
#8
holy snap. this is catchy.

i like your chorus alot lol. very poppy.

didn't like the drum solo. needs to be shorter.

also the bridge seemed kind of abrupt. you should make it flow into it a bit better.


over all, i don't see much punk, unless your vocals are punkish (please god no x_x)
but it was very poppy.

8.5/10 ish O.o''

Look at mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1224551
#10
Yeah, I see you that you guys didn't like the '''drum solo'' so maybe I'll rewrite it or even deleted it. I understand what you say for the bridge but it's flows well with the lyrics so... but thxs for all your comments, keep rockin' !
#11
Maybe add the vocal melody and reupload. It can change things considerably.
#13
Really good stuff. Very catchy and very well written.

I did find the drums to be a tad excessive at times though. Also both the guitar solo and the drum solo were very weak.

Other than that though, fantastic.
#14
After the solo where you pick the 19's and then after is the drum solo, i think you should hold the 19 for 2 measures and then kinda fade out on the note while the drum solo is going on, do you get what i mean?
Gear
Ibanez GIO Electric Guitar
Ibanez V50 Acoustic Guitar
Peavey Vypyr 75watt
RP55 Guitar Modulation (thinking of selling)


Fairmount Avenue
#15
Seeing as TS is offline, Reversal, would you do me a favor and export it to GP4 for me?
#16
Alright every one, I read your ideas and I came to this. I know I just cut a part of the ''drum solo'' but I think it's better like that. If now there,s any more things you don't like just tell me. Feel Free to Comment !!!!
#21
It worked this time; I really liked this. The rhythm guitar was solid, the lead work was great, and the drums were pretty good.

A few changes however:

It feels like you could have done more with the bass during the a lot of the song; nothing major, but a couple fills here and there could have added depth, especially in the verse and the pre-chorus. If nothing else, at least mess with fifths and octaves a bit.

At bar 49, in the pre-chorus, it feels like you should switch to 16th notes on the bass drum until the big drum roll on the snare at bar 55.

At the bar titled "drum solo", it would probably work better for the guitars and bass to each play a whole note of the last note of the previous measure, holding that over the drums for the measure.

All in all though, I think it's a great song. 8/10 as it is.

C4C? Both of the links in my sig could use it, so I'd be happy with either.
#23
the chorus reminds me of ... damn I dont remember...

edit: I think it was something from good charlotte
Last edited by Viplala at May 13, 2010,