#1
My friends sister wrote this and wanted him to make a song with it, so while i was over at his house we worked on it and got a rough recording. Its may sound rough, but for a first go, i thought it was pretty good. He's playing guitar, and i'm singing. I have a lead to go with this but we didn't put it in yet.

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/Paulhrbg/music/all/play728876

Crit mine and then send me a link. I'll return the favor.
#3
hey man, that was a pretty nice song! and pretty well performed by the sounds of things, backing vocals sounded a little flat though at the end

i reckon you should through a big sing along bridge in to make it a classic, and if you record it properly maybe a little bit of an electric guitar on clean towards the end!

have a listen to mine?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1225823
#4
I went to that link, and it didn't work, then i went to your profile, and it said you didn't have any songs, can you send a link my way again?
#6
Pretty nice song man!
I definitely like the vocal line (and great emotional singing) however, I really expected some huge sing a long chorus at about 0.51. The part you use a chorus now is a perfect pre-chorus somehow. Imo if you put some huge memorable chorus after the part that's the chorus now, it will be an amazing song, and I mean really amazing.

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1221647
Guitarist for: Delain, Arrow Haze, Vengeance, Tri-Head and others.

Official Endorser/Clinicer of:

Aristides Guitars
#7
Sounds pretty good, but I think it really needs a chorus, it kinda just sounds like several verses put together. That approach is anti-climactic, so find a way to relieve the tension created by the verses. Also, the backing vocals need work, they don't contribute much to the song as is.

Good lead singing, I like the tone. More instrumentation would help out this song.

Would you give me some feedback on my song, "Earth"?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1224553
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#8
I like it a lot. That's actually a pretty big deal coming from me, as I am not an acoustic kinda guy whatsoever. both guitar and vocals on this track are very good, plus I like the lyrics. Nice job!
Andy Fox
Hard rock guitarist
I play a Jackson DK-2 and an Ibanez RG through a Peavey 6505+ stack
#9
Damn, this is a good song, love the lyrics, put me in a good mood. The acoustic guitar needs some mixing, and near the end there I heard you turn a page and laugh, so I would replay it without the laugh, and try to mic the guitar a little bit better, and you should be good.

Crit mine piz?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1226358
#10
Personally I think the "chorus" as it is now works but it would need a stronger arrangement to really make the most of it. Good song though. Love that little moment at about 1:52, can't fake that kind of thing.
"If money is the root of all evil, I'd like to be a bad, bad man."

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#11
i like the singing! i agree about the background vox needing a little work, but like you said, this was a rough copy. left you a comment on your page too.

click the link in my sig and rate mine? fyi its metal so if it aint your thing, thats cool too.


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#12
Very good song, for a rough copy as you say this is really good. Good sound quality on guitar and vocals. I like your singing voice too.
Keep up the good work.

Would love an opinion on the songs im working on, may not be the style you like but thats cool man

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/cyberslunk/

Peace Cyberslunk
#13
I really like the chords, and your vocals are good. The backup singer needs to stop though (wink-wink). A big, get-your-lighters-out chorus would be really cool, but I can't really see how you go about doing that with this song. Anyway, for a rough cut, it's pretty good.

Crit me? "Lucidity" and "Never Worry" in my profile, if you have the time.
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