#1
I dont know what it is but everytime someone is rude or mean to me it seems to be okay, but when I have a comeback, Im always blacklisted as the meanest, rudest, crudest, person ever...It just doesnt click. When Im nice to people, I am told that I am shy or quiet or he keeps to himself, but when Im "mean" or when I speak up for myself, Im an a**hole, or stay away from that kid, he's a jerk...Has anyone else ever gone through this before? I guess being 19 Im trying to "find" myself and what exactly my personality is but everything is so confusing right now....I need help
Life is a film, you the film maker
#2
its called hypocrisy, its only wrong if YOU do it. i grew up being told that if i was attacked by other kids i was to curl into a ball and take it. one time i hit back and they tried to expel me and have me arrested. mind you this is after 11 other kids were stomping on my head and kicking me in the side... O_o

so i guess what im trying to say is...deal with it???
#3
Might have something to do with you BEING shy and quiet when not angry, and that you have some aggresive/anger build up and you unleash it on the first one being mean. I have/had that but no-one says i am an asshole when being mean.

Nothing to worry about, when being mean you tend to be not-so-nice.
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#4
Wow, this is interesting information, keep it coming guys, its helping me see things...thanks
Life is a film, you the film maker
#5
Hypocrisy sucks. But we all have to deal with from time to time. Like people who only break from talking about themselves to call other people self-centered. It's annoying, but we have to just try and ignore it.
#7
It happens man. Unfortunately that's just life.
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#8
Not much you can do about it other than stay away from those people. If you know you're being nice and ONLY standing up for yourself/defending yourself, then they're obviously the pricks. Just ignore them, or find some friends who will side with you.
#9
Maybe you need to look for a new circle of people to hang around.

If you feel like being nice be nice. If you feel like being mean be mean.

Trust yourself and be yourself. You can't please everyone all of the time so you if you present yourself on the outside based on how you feel inside... eventually you'll have people in your life who won't constantly judge you.

When I was younger I always second-guessed myself and tried to make people like me. After a while I realized that some of my "friends" were only around because they felt that they could use me or push me around. Now that I'm being myself, the people in my life are around me because they like the real me, not an act.

Moral of the story - be honest and true and be yourself.
#10
Thing is, when you do it, no one is used to it. AND you probably do it with a lot of passion, while for the other person, him dissing you is "usual" for him and no one will be freaked out by it.

Yea, it sux. The only good answer would be to tell you not to care at all, but that's not going to happen (been there myself). SO: DO come back at him. He insults you, you turn it around at him. Make him look stupid and rude, impolite. Humour helps a lot. AND if someone then starts saying that you are "the worst, rudest person ever," that's their problem. If they support you being bullied, you don't really need them and/or their friendship. SO it's unimportant what they think.

It's better to be seen as the worst person ever who can stand up for himself than to be the nicest person ever who never stands up for himself, everybody can take advantage of and will never get what he wants.

PS: TO MAKE HIM LOOK RUDE: Tell him (while there are others watching) that you don't like his behavior, it makes you feel bad when he's doing it and ask him to stop. IF he does, it's OK. If he doesn't, he'll be seen as a bad person - not only by others, but by himself too. So if he keeps on doing that, he has some serious emotional issues (no normal person would like to feel/be seen as a bad person in his own eyes), so YOU AREN'T the problem, so there is no need for you to take it personally.
The third alternative: he'll tell you what the problem is so you can work it out.
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#11
Not to be a mommas boy or anything but thats what my mom keeps telling me to do..."to find a new group of friends". Ive known my close friends since third grade but i am realizing that they are into things that im not...like smoking weed and drinking...i like to act and go on trips and travel and do things that are spontaneous but arent damaging...so sometimes they think i am boring or what not...i use to be a really bad kid and even got kicked out of high school and was sent to military school so im trying to stay away from all of the negative stuff in life. Sometimes I put myself on a pedastal when i am around them and i act like i am better than them because i dont drink or smoke and than thats when they get into calling me a jerk and an a**hole...I just feel that i am disliked by a lot of people nowadays
Life is a film, you the film maker
#12
Quote by Petar
Thing is, when you do it, no one is used to it. AND you probably do it with a lot of passion, while for the other person, him dissing you is "usual" for him and no one will be freaked out by it.

Yea, it sux. The only good answer would be to tell you not to care at all, but that's not going to happen (been there myself). SO: DO come back at him. He insults you, you turn it around at him. Make him look stupid and rude, impolite. Humour helps a lot. AND if someone then starts saying that you are "the worst, rudest person ever," that's their problem. If they support you being bullied, you don't really need them and/or their friendship. SO it's unimportant what they think.

It's better to be seen as the worst person ever who can stand up for himself than to be the nicest person ever who never stands up for himself, everybody can take advantage of and will never get what he wants.

PS: TO MAKE HIM LOOK RUDE: Tell him (while there are others watching) that you don't like his behavior, it makes you feel bad when he's doing it and ask him to stop. IF he does, it's OK. If he doesn't, he'll be seen as a bad person - not only by others, but by himself too. So if he keeps on doing that, he has some serious emotional issues (no normal person would like to feel/be seen as a bad person in his own eyes), so YOU AREN'T the problem, so there is no need for you to take it personally.
The third alternative: he'll tell you what the problem is so you can work it out.


wow bro thanks there is a lot of good stuff here that you wrote only thing is, it is a girl who i am having the problems with... Well, its girls and guys but its with this one girl the most
Life is a film, you the film maker
#13
Quote by ~DeadPoetsNow~
Not to be a mommas boy or anything but thats what my mom keeps telling me to do..."to find a new group of friends". Ive known my close friends since third grade but i am realizing that they are into things that im not...like smoking weed and drinking...i like to act and go on trips and travel and do things that are spontaneous but arent damaging...so sometimes they think i am boring or what not...i use to be a really bad kid and even got kicked out of high school and was sent to military school so im trying to stay away from all of the negative stuff in life. Sometimes I put myself on a pedastal when i am around them and i act like i am better than them because i dont drink or smoke and than thats when they get into calling me a jerk and an a**hole...I just feel that i am disliked by a lot of people nowadays


Thea reason why you´re doing it does not matter, i do this to but it´s more for fun/ its an act when i do it. Maybe people started to like you less because of this behaviour. Now i am not trying to sound rude or say it is your problem (i do it to) but, if you acted more on ´their´ level of godlikeness maybe they appreciated you more.

But on the other hand, they always (so i hear) call you boring, wich has nothing to do with that feeling higher then them thing. You got a lot of chance you and your friends grown apart, maybe it´s best for you guys to split ways and live your own lives with other people.

I had that to with my best friend i´ve know since i was 4 the last years we both had other hobbys, other styles of behaviour and other prioritys in life. It might sound harsh but if you keep try and patching up THEIR mistakes and keep on thinking that the only reason you still hang around with them is because you´re friends, you need to find other persons to hang out with.

Friendship is based on how you act towards each other, helping, backing each other up. Not on the word ´friendship´ or that you had things in commong years ago.
Quote by Holy Katana
Your last job only paid you $7.00 AUD an hour? That's like $6.05 in the US. What the hell is the minimum wage over there?


Quote by titsmcgee852
$0 for volunteer work

ollollolollol


^
#14
That advice is good, even if it is from your mom. I'm not saying you need to go out and seek new people but rather that if you be yourself and act honestly and stand up for yourself that your circle of friends will change. People will respect you and you won't have to put on an act. I used to be in the same kind of situation as you and I'm MUCH happier now. If people are cool to me, I'm cool to them. If people piss me off, I let them have it. It works.