#1
Title says it, I haven't written songs for long, so don't be brutal, but tell me what you like and dislike about it, and post your like, and I'll get back to you ASAP!

Thanks!
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#2
The first riff was interesting, be nice to see how drums would work with that, I totally wasnt digging the breakdown afterwards, sounds forced, unnatural and is not that interesting. Especially the 555--------777------888-----777 bit, not really a great progression.

I did however really like the powerchord riff with the bend and the harmonic, and the riff at bar 54 was ok, although I felt it went on for too long in the scheme of things without change.
#3
Quote by Beefmo
The first riff was interesting, be nice to see how drums would work with that, I totally wasnt digging the breakdown afterwards, sounds forced, unnatural and is not that interesting. Especially the 555--------777------888-----777 bit, not really a great progression.

I did however really like the powerchord riff with the bend and the harmonic, and the riff at bar 54 was ok, although I felt it went on for too long in the scheme of things without change.


Yeah, my breakdown is pretty sub-par, but I didn't want a strict breakdown, I wanted something I could lay vocals over, without being too overly complicated, but I'll probably rework that later.

And at 54, thanks for pointing that out, I accidentally pasted the thing twice, so it should only be 8 measures long xD

Thanks so much for the crit!
Quote by BobDetroit
Directions:
Unplug keyboard.
Place it in your butt so you can't post anymore.


Quote by Fadetoblack5:03
You deserve some form of awesome reward, but I'm to lazy. Imagine the rest of these:


Last edited by TheBigProjekt at Nov 7, 2009,
#4
I like the first riff, but I think that's where it should stay--at the beginning only. To me it just feels like an intro riff only. Whenever it starts being played again it feels awkward. The breakdown right after the first riff feels out of place to me. Maybe it would sound better with drums, but for right now it seems to me like it shouldn't be in that spot. I like the riff at bar 54, but maybe the bass should be changed up a little? It seems a little stale, in my opinion. The best riff is the main one with the harmonic in it. I'm diggin' that one.


Crit mine, please and thanks!
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1227535