#1
First of all, this is not finished yet, I just need opinions whether I'm totally destroying the original concept (the intro) or making a cool song.

I'm not sure if I like this at all, but on the other side I think some parts of it are pure awesome.

I'm really split in twain with the solo at bar 61 and forward, I can't decide whether I love it or hate it. The "chromatology" sounds cool, I think, but is it boring? what do you think? I'm going nuts over this.

Also some transitions are driving me nuts, I think most of them sound awesome but odd. Do they fit at all? or do I like it just because I made it?

haha, I hope you get my point. All feedback would be HUGELY appreciated and responded too as fast as I can!
Attachments:
opig.gp5
opig.mid
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#2
I am not amused.
Why does everyone isn't on labeling their stuff experimental/avant-garde, when it is anything but.

Not saying you're piece isn't good, but it falls under "troo" progressive, as it's not absolute wank. Not the usual DT crap.

Kinda thrashy, prog-like, with a bit of core.
Needs more suspended chords, especially in the beginning.
Tuning is quite unorthodox, thought it was new standard tuning at first.
#3
I may apology, mein Herr, but I didn't really know what to label it, and too me it's quite experimental and... OK, not that crazy.

Oh well! No offence taken or intended to be given!

While we're on at it, what did you think about the transitions and the such. Am I ruining the original idea?
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#4
What did I expect:
WANK
What I got:
A nice piece of Dan Swanöish metal with a mediocre tuning.
I live near Lake Bodom WORSHIP MEEEEEEE

Quote by Sami Philadelph
LOL, for some reason the impression I get from you is like some wacky Frank Zappa of metal pulling pranks at the Grammys and telling crude jokes during interviews.
#5
Quote by henkka_potku
What did I expect:
WANK
What I got:
A nice piece of Dan Swanöish metal with a mediocre tuning.


Haha! care to elaborate?
You like it
#6
A - Pretty cool. Not amazing, but effective
A2 - Nice variation
B, B2 - As above
C - Good
D - Not bad, Could use a bit of rhythmic variation or something
D2 - A tad dull
Solo - Don't like that at all. Please write in key.
A2 - Liked it better the second time round. Grew on me. It's good when music does this.
A2.2 - Pretty cool.

The transitions were fine. I barely noticed them. But yes, I think the solo is boring...

If this is experimental, then my piece is frankenstein - https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1225684 C4C?

But really, what I think you've got here is a decent piece of prog, once you fix up the solo and do some tweaking (and finish it)
#7
Quote by linus.d
Haha! care to elaborate?

Well, crazy experimental metal (Unexpect) ****ing sucks. It's just so ****ing bad. This was not bad, and not even very avant garde. The tuning wasn't very convenient, I didn't get what's the point in it. Reminded me greatly of Dan Swanös music.
I live near Lake Bodom WORSHIP MEEEEEEE

Quote by Sami Philadelph
LOL, for some reason the impression I get from you is like some wacky Frank Zappa of metal pulling pranks at the Grammys and telling crude jokes during interviews.
#8
A : sounds good, but nothing too special imo. also, shorten to 8 bars.
A2: better than A, imo. even without the lead gtr.
B : it's vacant. let the bass/gtr ring or idk what else.
B2: uhm.. i liked the bass & drum work.
C : the 9/8 part was pretty cool, extend it. the part after that.. sucks imo.
D : i like the feel of it, but the transition seemed forced.
D2: that was my favourite part.
Solo: Please, rewrite. no further comment.
Parts after: Yeah, pretty cool. atmospheric. you should keep on going that path, imo.

about your worries: i didn't noticed the transitions as transitions, so, it's something good.
that chromatic solo.. uhm, i didn't like it at all. maybe it'd sound a lot better on an actual recording.
.. record it? d;

this was ok, but anything than experimental.
pretty normal metal song with some time sig changes, imo.

crit 4 crit?
http://artists.ultimate-guitar.com/katatura/

check out the song "aegrotatio"
i'll tab it out soon, i hope you'll understand the structure & stuff.
btw: it's completely in 4/4, most of the riffs dissolve into 4/4 after some repititions.
or riff 1 + riff 2 = 4/4.
don't get confused. d;
CLICK
Quote by synestershadows
Holy shit nemesis, that was depressing.
Mission accomplished!
#9
Quote by Butt Rayge
A - Pretty cool. Not amazing, but effective
A2 - Nice variation
B, B2 - As above
C - Good
D - Not bad, Could use a bit of rhythmic variation or something
D2 - A tad dull
Solo - Don't like that at all. Please write in key.
A2 - Liked it better the second time round. Grew on me. It's good when music does this.
A2.2 - Pretty cool.

The transitions were fine. I barely noticed them. But yes, I think the solo is boring...

If this is experimental, then my piece is frankenstein - https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1225684 C4C?

But really, what I think you've got here is a decent piece of prog, once you fix up the solo and do some tweaking (and finish it)



Agreed with this, but I did like the solo. It needs more shine and luster to it though. More emphasis on accented parts. And staying within a key would help.
#10
Love the intro..great chords
Also nice post intro.. the melody fits really good!

D is by far the best part of the song imo. I really like the mood of that part.
I don't think the solo is any good. it just doesn't fit and it's the same pattern over and over again.

The drumming has good and bad parts.

overall it's decent. (That D part really rocks!!!)
nice tuning as well

7/10
keep on working on the weaker parts and this song will rock

C4C?
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#11
thanks for the crits everyone!

I tihnk I'll have to rework the solo a bit (a lot <.<


As for the crits, I'll be right at them, supper first!
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#12
the C and D parts were the best. i agree with nemesis@germany about the solo. i think i know what you were trying to do but it just didnt sound good there. just last night, i was trying to write a sort of out of key type riff but its really hard to do as i dont really know anything to reference. my favorite example of something similar to this is dream theater - dance of eternity, 4:43 to 5:13 but mostly the 5:01 to 5:13 section. i used to have the tab book but i lost it a long time ago so i cant tell you exactly what he's doing there.

overall a pretty cool tune. thats a weird tuning, i might try it sometime. it may have its uses.


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