This song was inspired by The Strokes originally. This is just a rough draft, so I'm open to any and all suggestions of what to change.

Edit: Updated; it's now been titled "A Starry Night in Seattle".
A Starry Night in Seattle.zip
Last edited by herby190 at Nov 10, 2009,
Simple but effective. When the guitars first come in it sounds kinda placebo-esque to me. The on real complaint I have is that the bass during the verses could do with a bit of work, it doesn't sound right being quite that simple. Apart from that, it works what it is, and sounds pretty good, I'd quite like to hear it recorded.

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I updated the OP; I've titled the piece "A Starry Night in Seattle", and I've done a bit of changing, although most of it was just cutting and adding parts to make it work with the lyrics. If anyone wants to check out the lyrics, there's a link in my sig.
Okay, first off - I didn't mind this. It was a bit on the simplistic side, though, and I find that I agree with the other poster - the bass is too simplistic in the verses, and I reckon the second guitar should have a different riff to play - maybe a couple of small licks?
It sounds like it could be a good song though, if you get to performing the song, with lyrics and all.
I totally do not understand the progression of this song, all the parts sound well; like some have said, the bass is too loud to be so repetitive. Last chord on bar 9 (guitar I) sounds funny, but you can completely do that if that's the emotion you wanna pass. But one thing that I have particularly observed is that it has a weird feeling at the start (as in the emotion it passes, not as in musical feeling), and then it goes completely happy on the chorus; 'tis a very pop-punky chorus, actually.
Haha, I never expected that old song of mine to get bumped up with a new rate.

Like others have said, this is very simple, and I can imagine that it would sound fine with vocals. However, there's just a few little things that bug me a little.

The second chord in the main riff (ie bars 9 - 12) - the bass doesn't quite work there. Imo it should be an open E on the bottom string. Matches the root of the chord of the guitar - still "boring" but it sounds much better.

The last chord in the chorus progression sounds really... odd. Different, not sure if it works. It just stuck out as not quite fitting there.

The last thing is that nearly everything is straight 8ths all the way through, rhythmically. I think some variation could spice it up.

Despite what appears to be me ranting about it, it's a fine song, don't take me the wrong way.
It's all rather simple and predictable but it works nicely.
more interesting drums and bass would improve it vastly
Hmm i read the lyrics before i listened to this. The lyrics were so amazing really but I didnt quite get the same imagery reading the lyrics again while listening to the song at the same time.. Thought the music was gonna be slower and emotional. But ok cool song.
I like the simplicity, but maybe the bass and drums are a little too simple.
I understand that having an overpowering bass may compromise the vocals but just the odd leading note would make it sound much better.

I like the bridge, and the second guitar part in general, I think it compliments the first guitars chords nicely.

The Chorus melody is very catchy, without being annoyingly so.

A very good song, simple but works well.
You managed to create such a simple song, while still being completely original.
I like that. And I agree with Cookie93, the chorus melody is very catchy

My favourite part in the song would have to be bar 97 - 98, that transition is lovely!

I really don't know what else I can say.
This song is pretty much ready to be recorded.

Really great job.
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