#1
Wow everybody on this thread really sucks, so here is my amazing song, I think it will be number 1 one day...

You think you saw the x-men? Were they on heroin?
You think you saw the x-men? Were they on heroin?
Have you given birth to the antichrist yet?
Have you given birth to the antichrist yet?

I'm not in it for the minute.
in it for the minute.
in it for the minute.
I'm not in it for the minute.
I said, I'm not in it for the minute.

Over there I wish it would snow,
wish the wall would rot in
he needs a rosary
going on backwards to hit his mother again(vocal overdub saying slap that bitch again! followed by a smacking sound)
going on backwards to marijuana sunday
but he don't know, bro.

Hating life's negativity,
want to start over with everything,
because there's nobody home.
There is nobody home in machines,
it's only in animal minds.
We're not blind, we're better.

The Pelican King is flying everywhere,
I think he's in my shoes,
while I sing the blues,
working for the boobs.
#2
yeah, ok...

First, the opening statement is pointlessly offensive. People who are truely great don't go around saying "wow, everyone else sucks, look at me, i'm number one, yay. **** you."

Second, if you're so amazing, what the hell is this? boring repetitive, meaningless, offensive, juvenile, weak. There's nothing impressive or even decent here at all.

Third, if you were just being ironic, it's far too overt. I doubt you were though.

good day.
#3
I'm not saying I'm better than everyone, I'm saying this is the best thing out of the whole thread, like white bread.

Just wait until you hear it on the radio, you'll see.

and a good day to you, chap.
#4
My first day posting on the sight and my first comment. You got others? This is funny...
#6
this is crap if you actually think that this makes you a great writer, but if you wrote this as kind of a jokey, fun song then it works because it is quite funny. But I agree with the post above me, your opening statement was wayyyyy uncalled for if you were in fact being serious
#7
I like the "I'm not in it for the minute" part. The verse after that has some good imagery. It reminds me of a trailer trash scene. The rest of it is alright. As a standalone stream of consciousness style piece of beat poetry, it's good (if you can even judge that type of art as "good" or "bad.") However, as a song and piece of music, it's wandering and not particularly engaging.
#8
Quote by PizzaStar

Just wait until you hear it on the radio, you'll see.


Wouldn't surprise me; everything on the radio sucks today. This included.
#9
This song is about life and was inspired by these beautiful paintings called the "Pelican King":





Don't think about stealing these lyrics either, I made sure to get in contact with my lawyer and had it copyrighted.

I'm thinking about selling this song to Madonna. What do you guys think about that? You think she could pull it off?
#10
She might miss the irony of singing:
"working for the boobs."

so so sooooo much irony it's not funny. Or rather, it is, i guess
#11
Hating life's negativity,
This statement contradicts your entire 'masterpiece'.


Also, this clearly isn't inspired by a work of art.
All you did was insert "pelican king" to add another thought without any form of transition leading into it. There is no such english characters arranged in such a way to allow me to think that this is about the pelican king.

This is simply a juvenile rant about nothing.
Promises meant a lot back then.
#12
I almost wanna say this is a troll..but whatever.


As much as you think we may be idiots, we aren't, and we don't need you telling us "I'm not in it for the minute" five times in a row for us to understand that you are not, as a matter of fact, in it for the minute.

But anyway, I'm glad you're all-knowing and adept enough to think of two words that rhyme with "shoe" and pile them into the lyrics. Marvelous ending.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#14
Wooooow... 10 year old or troll?

Bands like phish can write stuff like
"I saw you dancing with Elihu, up on Leemor's bed"

However, people assume they can put things together as they please without it being about anything. This is not the case. Just like paintings these works of musical art are imbued with meaning. Take Salvador Dali for a cliche example, at a glance, his paintings seem to be a drug induced crap-scape of nothing, but if you dig deep enough, you hit a vein of creativity that gushes with intelligence and design.

Writing songs ABOUT something is important. If your song is about nothing, it will end up as nothing. Write about what you love and write for yourself, not for other people. when I first started writing I looked up "How to get inspiration" and "What to write about" and came up with a website that said:

"What should I write about? Love. There's something you'd expect. What should I write about? Combine harvesters. There's something you didn't expect. [...] Bottom line, write about something you love to write about, something that compels you to write. If you write about love, to write songs like no one else does, you have to live, breath and eat love. What moves you? It doesn't matter if it's love, or combine harvesters, if you really love it, your work will be great."

(Kinda parahphrased, but you get the idea.)

Bottom line, this song has no meaning or feeling behind it, just random clippings from your mind that mean, from what I can tell, jack to you except for "getting the number one spot"

Have fun with your big block of text and sloppy-songwich

GEDIT:

I forgot to add, you should run this piece by a mod first, I believe this is unnessecarily offensive. This forum is polluted enough as it is, run stuff like this by the mods first =/

*reported*
Quote by SamuelBirkett
wtf r u say make no sensical



SAVE THE MUDKIPS
Last edited by gagadude at Nov 11, 2009,
#15
Quote by kdownes
She might miss the irony of singing:
"working for the boobs."

so so sooooo much irony it's not funny. Or rather, it is, i guess


I thought about using tatas at first since it seems more censored, but it wouldn't rhyme well with the others.

Quote by gagadude
Bottom line, this song has no meaning or feeling behind it


I think you should be reported for being an idiot.
#16
And you should be *reported* for ruining everyone else's day. This is a place to come with an open and accepting mind, to place your works for evaluation and critique in an honest fashion and return the favour. This is not the place for slating, hating and grating on people's nerves. Having checked out other threads of yours, I've noticed a trend of aggressive, rude behaviour, so I'ms aving this thread from falling into that pit. When you're ready to be an active member of the community and abide by its rules, you can try again.

Good day.