#1
I just wrote this tonight. It was done in about 5 minutes. No editing has been done. Write what you will.
Edit: I hate cranberries.

A crisis of faith
dealt with more bitterly
than even the most
overripe of cranberries.

a volatile taste
draws in my mouth,
pictures of sons and fathers,
unforgiven trespasses and unforgotten losses.

And with a heavy brow,
and a darkened frown,
the time stands still
with the passing of every unfaithful hour,

a betrayal felt more deeply
than any love before it,
even penetrating the darkness
inside of darkness.

It crosses boundaries
no man should ever even be aware of,
setting fire to
every bridge before it,

slamming shut
every door behind it,
there is no way out,
I will face myself.

the idea of failing
more harrowing than the idea
of not even trying.

I substitute this reality
in favor of an easier one
one I succeed in
one I lord over.

I will face myself.
Last edited by SunsetAlphabet at Nov 10, 2009,
#2
You really do have a nice feel to your writing, a nice movement. I like the fact that this deals with a rather cliched subject, without falling into bland lifeless descriptions or overused phraseology. I've quite enjoyed your pieces so far. Keep posting and keep me up to date. I've posted the third part of my short story if you're interested. (Trios in sig)