#1
Well, I like this. I wrote in uhh... Algebra II last year for my last band (I was vocals/guitar, and I had to be lyricist too).

Tell me what you think of it... and let me know what YOU think it should be called.


This empty room,
This lonely cell,
longest nightmares,
living hell.
I cannot think,
I cannot see,
Nothing but walls scream back at me.
No windows,
Elusive light,
Psychotic struggle to end the fight.
This empty room,
This lonely cell,
longest nightmare,
living hell.

I do not want-
I do not see-
I do not feel a point in me.
End my life,
By my hands,
This life I can no longer stand...

A darker place,
A shadow man,
Estranged figures,
Hazed in sand.
I will not speak,
I will not go,
Mindless figures put on a show.
No exit,
Endless fright,
Grasping freedom - Losing sight.
A darker place,
A shadow man,
Estranged figures,
Hazed in sand.

I do not want-
I do not see-
I do not feel a point in me.
End my life,
By my hands,
This life I can no longer stand...

Longest crusade,
Death of my soul.
Time slips away,
I am so cold.
I cannot move,
I feel so numb,
What seemed so good is no longer fun.
Lost it all,
Have no pain,
Feel like I might go insane.
Longest crusade,
Death of my soul.
Time slips away,
I feel so cold.

I do not want-
I do not see-
I do not feel a point in me.
End my life,
By my hands,
This life I can no longer stand...

I've lost my mind,
I know I have-
The unnatural pain,
I can now grab.
Now let me go,
Please set me free,
This mind I'm in is killing me...


As you can see, it has a sort of brooding tone to it... I wrote in a similar style to that of "Fade to Black" It's more about a guy truly wanting to kill himself, than anything else... but everything involved is open for discussion.

Finally, as a disclaimer, I was in no way depressed upon writing this. I was in Alg II, as I said earlier... but I don't think I'd lose my mind due to solely that
#2
I wrote a similar song about "the darkness" of my soul recently and it also contained the tones you have here, so this is very close to my heart, and I like the way you have put it. I especially like the the lines;

"I cannot think,
I cannot see,
Nothing but walls scream back at me.
No windows,
Elusive light,
Psychotic struggle to end the fight."

except the last line perhaps something like "In the depths of darkness, a hopeless fight"

It seems to me like it would suit a dark genre of music like metal well.

I like it very much though man well done.

I would name the song "Nightfall' relating to the whole darkness theme.