#1
I've just hit one of those real inspirational moments in my life, and im writing bits and pieces of music that im really pleased with on consistent basis, It's great! This is just a really pretty guitar intro I just wrote, and would love some feedback, maybe on what kind of song i could turn this into, and your thoughts. I wouldn't mind doing a gp5 collab if anyone is interested also :P!

Let me know what you think, thanks much.


*EDIT NOV 16*

Here's an updated version with some piano in the intro, and a nice little section at the end, let me know what you think!
Attachments:
Alaska, Alaska version 2.gp5
Last edited by velocet at Nov 16, 2009,
#4
Quote by chexered
here, i was bored,

what do you think?



I like the idea, but I don't like how you changed it to drop D, it changed the low E 7 on the second fret and doesn't sound as good imo. But I like the rythym, sounds nice.
Last edited by velocet at Nov 10, 2009,
#5
Quote by velocet
I like the idea, but I don't like how you changed it to drop D, it changed the low E 7 on the second fret and doesn't sound as good imo. But I like the rythym, sounds nice.


just change that note to a 9 on the low E
#6
yeah, sounds really good now, do you actually like the piece, or did you do it solely because you were bored lol? would you be interested in helping me finish it?
#7
Quote by velocet
yeah, sounds really good now, do you actually like the piece, or did you do it solely because you were bored lol? would you be interested in helping me finish it?


i did really like the piece
and i would love to help you finish :P
#9
Quote by velocet
sweet! Here I added a little bit more, including a bass line! Let me know what you guys think of the newer version:


You should really edit these into the OP so people know which version is the newest without scrolling through the thread to find it.

Anyways, here's what I think:

Intro drags a little bit with just the guitar. Maybe have a violin or something come in at 5 to strengthen the sound? 17 is great. Nice and happy and energetic. When it gets to 33 it's a nice little quiet-ish part, but I'd save it for a little later. Don't use up all your dynamic variation within the first minute of the song. Aside from that it's really good so far. Keep it up.
PM me for newts
#10
Agree with the intro dragging on a bit. Really loved what you added chexered. It's cool to see how something can change so much mood wise when you add a different rhythm or different chords etc. It also dragged on a bit though and I don't like the new parts you added (i like them) but I think you guys need to start moving away from that pattern, a bit repetitive.

I really like where this is going. Could become a very catchy song.
Last edited by 21Fretter at Nov 12, 2009,
#11
I was sort of thinking the same thing, thanks for the insight. How do you like the bass lines? Does it flow well with the song?
#12
My bass skills are super shoddy so all i can offer is, i didn't like in bar 18 those two groups of sixteenth note B's. It sounded a bit messy to me but that might just be since you haven't panned anything.
#15
Hey sorry i didnt really like that violin or cello.

But I updated the orginal post with an updated version, i added some piano in the intro, and a new section towards the end, let me know what you think of both!! thanks
#16
The pre-intro, or whatever you want to call it, sounded really plain to me, so I decided to add a synth melody. Other than that, when the beat kicks in, the rest sounds pretty sweet.
Attachments:
Alaska, Alaska version 2.gp5
While driving yesterday, I saw a banana peel on the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
#17
Quote by dandan321
The pre-intro, or whatever you want to call it, sounded really plain to me, so I decided to add a synth melody. Other than that, when the beat kicks in, the rest sounds pretty sweet.



awesome! the synth sounds really nice.
#19
Quote by DudE132
no


This.

I usually don't knock on songs because they are simplistic, but this one had a really dull and trudging momentum to it. Accessible ideas and structures are very handy, but when there is what I would consider redeeming, then no.

DudE132 is douche however and should probably be removed from this forum. He never brings any useful criticism or a thoughtful explanation as to why he dislikes a piece.
Bitch slap him the **** out here.


This piece can be redeemed. The one major thing that killed it for me was the whole note stops every fourth or sixth bar (you know what I'm talking about). Remove that, gradually build up a secondary melody underneath the guitar riffs (with the other instruments), add more groove/syncopation, and phrase some of the guitar portions, with either a short, but quick legato line and a multitude of bends, vibratos, slides, trills, palm mutes, harmonics, etc.

Also, could please take a moment to look at this and crit it?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1231749