#1
Wrote this one last winter. FYI the mom part in the second verse, she passed away when I was 17 so this i a referene of her watching over me and telling me that she approves. C4C of course. Enjoy


She doesn't leave my mind when I sleep
She's everything that I've lost that I wanted to keep
When my pen touches the paper the ink bleeds for her
It's more than love; it's a sickness without a cure
I could thank you for days for what you gave me
But most of all that time when we carved our names, in that tree
Because it reminds me that we were real
And at one point love is what I could feel

What I could touch
What I would see when I looked into your eyes
What I tasted when I kissed your lips
What I dreamt
when I slept next to you
What I hated when you took all my hope away
and left me with nothing to say

I could’ve sworn we were meant for each other
Because I felt the smile of my mother
Lighting up these thoughts of us, illuminating these dreams
Of you and I, it just sounded so sweet
I still have faith, that one day you’ll be mine
Then I won’t have to sing no more, I won’t have to rhyme
And I won’t need that tree to tell me we were real
Cause it’s all for you, this love I fell

What I touch
What I see when I look into your eyes
What I taste when I kiss your lips
What I dream
When I sleep next to you
And now I don’t have to hate myself for letting you walk away
I’m telling you, everything that I need to say
#2
Wow... This is good from the emotional standpoint. Its got a depressive sense- i could sorta sounding like "sieze the day" by a7x when i sang it.
And it doesnt look or sound like any rhymes are forced, except for the "Cause it’s all for you, this love I fell", but that gets more into the poetic aspect of it.
9.5/10 This rules
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Put a piece of tape on the headstock and write "Gibson" on it.
If done properly, this should quadruple your sustain.

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That post is probably the deepest, wisest, most mature thing to ever spill forth from the Pit.

Metallica!!
Maiden!!
A7X!!
#3
Thanks man. Yea, for ths song I tried to put a poetic touch on it, just because it seems when I do that it becomes more personnal and the emotions show well. You got anything I can crit?