#1
Been working on this since Monday and I want to know how its comeing along so far, so do I rethink a few things about this song?

Its not double tracked, not yet at least, I'm hopeing I can double track it well enough, but there are a few mistakes in the playing, kinda hesitated in places, but this is what I have so far.

What do ya'll think, is it going in the right direction? Do I need to add a lead guitar or leave it as it it?

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/ethan_hanus/music/all/play731525

I'll crit yours if you ask.


EDIT: Heres the new version, with alot of the mistakes taken out.

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/ethan_hanus/music/all/play732343
Last edited by ethan_hanus at Nov 11, 2009,
#3
That was good. I really like the clean intro, but I think you should really get a better transition from the clean to the distortion. I think it might need to be condensed a little too. The riffs are good, but a little repetitive. And it might be cool to revert to the clean guitar at some point. And yes, add a solo.

Other than that it was really good. It has really good potential.
#4
Pretty tight man. Just critism, not trying to be mean btw. I think that song of the riffs could have been condensed a bit, it seemed like it drug out in a few spots. Also, it would have been really cool if you would have went back to that opening clean riff from the beggining at some point, maybe as an outro or somewhere in the middle followed by a really heavy riff again. And I do think it would have been cooler with a solo added, I think an ideal spot for it would have been around 4:26 when you start the double bassing, I could jam to it and send you some ideas of kinda what was going on in my head if you want to build off something ha. But yeah overall I thought it was tight, it seemed like if it had lyrics it would be pretty legit.
#7
Wow, thanks, didnt know I did that good on it. Yeah, it does get kinda repetitive, I need to modify the drum track to add that clean part in there, I have an idea for it. I think I missed a bar on the drum track in the intro, so it threw me off on my transistion. If you want to give me some jam ideas thats fine, but I'll work on a solo for it in the mean time.


EDIT: I'm just using a drumtrack program, you can find it in the Drum programming thread, then I just downloaded a bunch of drum sounds.
Last edited by ethan_hanus at Nov 10, 2009,
#8
yeah, man. those drums are pretty sucky, IMO. what program are you using? the guitar playing isn't very tight, you're gonna need to tighten that up and DEFINATELY double-track.
the intro is a bit too long, IMO. over a minute, and nothing new. could be shorter.
the guitar riff that comes after the clean part is kickass, though. really awesome. but: IT NEEDS DOUBLE TRACKING!!!! RAAAAAAEEEG!
and bass guitar as well.
but the pinch harmonics and vibratos were really tasteful and cool, liked them alot.
all in all, I guess 7/10
only seven because I liked the song, but it still needs alot of work.
#9
cool one bro. but you know the 640 is too long. trim that in half . the transition to the distorion doesent seem to fit. im not sure why though. cool idea. but make it shorter. and maybe after the distortion/chorus part go back to the intro riff thing you were doing. i like it. nice tone and recording. very raw almost clasic rock sounding.

crit mine brother? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22259053#post22259053
#10
I really didnt go for the beginning of the tune, very nirvanish especially when it went from clean to dist. (something there wasnt quite sounding right at all.

The distortion part was pretty cool though. I heard some C.O.C. in that and was really digging certain parts. And I heard vocals, (in my head), at times so thats cool.

I likey....
Play the Art that Plays
#11
Your playing definitely needs work. The clean part has a lot of timing issues and parts of the distorted stuff does too (the riff starting at 3:18 is the worst offender). Don't try to double track it until you can play it well. I wouldn't bother with a solo yet either.

Like some people have already said, you can trim the fat a couple of places to make it more like a song. (Although you may have a bitchin' vocal all written but not recorded.) The transition from the clean intro to the first distorted riff is horrible and it's probably because you change keys without setting up the change. The way the clean riff is structured it leads the ear to a root note and when the distorted riff goes to another key it just sounds plain wrong. You need some kind of transition between those two or separate the two ideas into separate songs.
"If money is the root of all evil, I'd like to be a bad, bad man."

- Huey Lewis & the News
#12
So I rewrote the song, shortened it up by like a minute(I know I'm lame), added another clean part after the breakdown and just cleaned up my playing as best I could. I tried to double track the song but I failed, so I went the noob way and just delayed it slightly, still works, but not to the greatest effect of actually double tracking it.

I think this is the limitation of the tone I can get from my equipment, I worked hard on it.

I updated the first post with the new version. Take a look see.
#13
hey man sounds pretty cool i like the clean intro the most. what are you tuned down to? thanks for commenting on my song btw.
#15
okay

-clean intro is good, drums coming into it are a little jarring but the guitar holding that last clean note of the arp is a good effect.

-The groove riff is actually quite good, simple but still it carries the groove well - I would headbang to it!

- really like 3:24 riff.

- clean bit at 4:16 comes out of nowhere! It was just starting to get heavier maybe a solo could be put in there.

- Drums overall need work and the playing could be a little tighter in place - esp the lead.

Overall it needs more structure IMO - do you plan to have a singer over the top and whatnot? If so I think a simplier more straightforward structure would be good. The main riff plays the midpaced stomp thrash well but perhaps some catchier melodies over the place - a melodic chorus perhaps - would benefit the peice.

anyway hope this helps!

crit mine! (in the sig)
#16
Yeah I know, to me the lead is a joke, I'm not happy with it at all. I need to work on it. The drums I cant do much about, since there kinda robotic.

The clean bit I was thinking of just fadeing out of the breakdown, and fadeing into the clean part, but mabey its a good place for a solo.

Dont know if I'm going to add lyrics, I'm sure it could use some, but I'm neither a lyric writer or a singer.