#1
just tell me what you think


verse 1

Brown hair girl sits in the corner while the music plays
she stands up begins to dance, suddenly she's beautiful
i sit down across the room slowly sipping my drink
stand up to see her, suddenly i'm beautiful

Chorus:

music man don't stop playing lest she might sit down
please dont stop making that, that beautiful sound
music man give me courage with the flow of every note
because i want to be like her, so beautiful

Verse 2:

Through dancing figures that girl's smile lights up the room
and it finds its way to me, so beautiful
How i envy her carelessly dancing on the floor
o how i want to be, so beautiful

Chorus

music man don't stop playing lest she might sit down
please dont stop making that, that beautiful sound
music man give me courage with the flow of every note
because i want to be like her, so beautiful

Verse 3:

With people gone she's still spinning, while the music still plays
as i keep watching her dance, still beautiful
I look up to see her walking to me and she says
what you doing sitting down you're beautiful

Chorus:

Music man dont stop playing lest we might sit down
please dont stop making that, that beautiful sound
music man give us courage with the flow of every note
because we are just like her, so beautiful, we're beautiful

(repeat chorus)
Last edited by Firstnamesmusic at Nov 11, 2009,
#2
the word "beautiful" seems a little over-used to me, but that's my personal opinion, so don't take it offensively
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#5
Quote by Firstnamesmusic
just tell me what you think

verse 1

Brown hair girl sits in the corner while the music plays
she stands up begins to dance, suddenly she's beautiful
i sit down across the room slowly sipping my drink
stand up to see her, suddenly i'm beautiful


This is good, like these

Quote by Firstnamesmusic

Chorus:

music man don't stop playing lest she might sit down
please dont stop making that, that beautiful sound
music man give me courage with the flow of every note
because i want to be like her, so beautiful



perfect but if this song is on acoustic and slow i think make this line: "please dont stop making that, that beautiful sound" change it to " please dont stop making that, that beautiful beautiful sound "

Quote by Firstnamesmusic

Verse 2:

Through dancing figures that girl's smile lights up the room
and it finds its way to me, so beautiful
How i envy her carelessly dancing on the floor
o how i want to be, so beautiful



Good nice verse

Quote by Firstnamesmusic

Chorus

music man don't stop playing lest she might sit down
please dont stop making that, that beautiful sound
music man give me courage with the flow of every note
because i want to be like her, so beautiful



Quote by Firstnamesmusic

Verse 3:

With people gone she's still spinning, while the music still plays
as i keep watching her dance, still beautiful
I look up to see her walking to me and she says
what you doing sitting down you're beautiful



brilliant finish love it!! last verse is brilliant

Quote by Firstnamesmusic

Chorus:

Music man dont stop playing lest we might sit down
please dont stop making that, that beautiful sound
music man give us courage with the flow of every note
because we are just like her, so beautiful, we're beautiful

(repeat chorus)


again with chorus, i think just change that one thing than perfect
#6
Wow, got skillz bro.

Definately produce this one :P It's probably one of the coolest songs I've seen in a while.
Quote by SamuelBirkett
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#8
Good luck with the melody, I like the concept. Should be a good song!
#10
kinda gay, not gonna lie. i don't really know what you're going for and the ambiguous nature of the overall narrative makes it completely uninteresting.