#1
i need a name 4 this song i wrote. i think its my best yet (thats not sayin much lol

i see u standing and it darkens me
cuz the arms around ur waist arent mine
though i want u desperately
a fog begins to form inside my brain
this deja vu is so cold
my face begins to rain
and pour my sorrow onto this page again
time after time you get inside my head

(Chorus)
viral infection is the way you stole my love
although you dont even want it
you leave me feeling haunted
i need some medicine before i come undone
my head's evaporating
cuz of your subconcious draining

so i'll go home alone and waste away
in the corner where ive poured out
my love, my pride, my loss and shame
i'll just keep looking for the way it ends
the day when you might finally free me
but i know until then
i'll pour my sorrow onto this page again
Wondering if i'd be better to you dead

(Chorus)

(some kind of instrumental bridge/half-solo)

(Chorus x2)

thats it just comment with any possible names ok?
#2
infectious connections?
MY GEAR!

Indiana IE1-TSB Electric
Kay K-592 Acousitc
Washburn XS-2 Bass
Peavey VYPYR30 with Sanpera I footswitch
Jay Turser Acoustic Electric
Paul Reed Smith (PRS) Custom SE 24 Black Cherry

www.myspace.com/12goodomens
#4
I honestly dont like them... but thats opinion. also learn to use the spell check, or a dictionary.
I think "inside my head" might be a cool name, especially if you changed the chorus a bit.
good luck!
GUITARS
Burswood Acoustic
Squier Affinity Strat
Fender Tele Deluxe
BASS
Ibanez Jetking bass
AMPS
Marshall MG30DFX
Peavey max 158 bass amp
Fender Bassman 250
1979 Carvin of some sort
And some pedals
#6
Infected? Unrequited? Sorrow on the Page?
They say that in the army, the food is mighty fine.
The chicken jumped off the table and killed a friend of mine.

Oh lord, I want to go home.
But they won't let me go-o
Ho-oho-ohohahohohome. Hey!
#7
Dismal Dues
Quote by SamuelBirkett
wtf r u say make no sensical



SAVE THE MUDKIPS
#8
these are all off the top of my head
Poem of Tears
My Written Tears
You're Stealing My Mind
Stormy Seas Inside My Head
Drained Love

anyways I did not necessarily like it. You tried to use advanced vocabulary to make you look smarter but failed. Perhaps get a bit more simpler but keep the complex meaning
#9
Please read the forum rules, specifically regarding thread titles. This one was fixed for you, but you need to read them so that you know in the future. Thanks.

Also as a point of criticism, I didn't even read any of your song past the third line because if you don't care enough about it to type out "you", "because/cause", "your" etc. then why should I care enough to read it? When presenting a piece of writing, specifically to be critiqued, then it's best to avoid making it look like an IM conversation you had with a friend.