#1
Hello guys, I'm back .

2 weeks ago or so I posted the first version of this song for my band. I looked at your comments and since then some major things have changed to this song. I only left 3 riffs untouched, wrote new drums and bass lines and even some totally new riffs. This is the first song me and my band ever made so we did the best we could and worked hard on it. We didn't go through the progress of letting our sound evolve as a band yet as this is our first song. but I hope you guys are pleased to check it out . Watch out , more will be coming soon!

grtz
Attachments:
Blood Dollars v2.gp4
Blood Dollars v2.gp5
Blood Dollars v2.mid
#2
Quote by Architects
I'm going to be brutally honest with you - it sounded like It Dies Today...and a TOTALLY boring version of them. Nothing caught my attention, the breakdown was a snorefest and the bass lines were off key. Sorry...


I don't know it dies today so that's certainly not where I got my inspiration.
The bass lines can't be off key as they follow the guitar lines .
To be brutally honest, I think you barely took the to listen. altho I admit that the breakdown needs a little workd , and guitar pro sounds lame unfortunatly.
#3
im sorry but no, the bassline is rubbish, it almost follows the guitar line but not quite so it sounds terrible.
it was basically just boring me.
i've eaten yoghurts that were more brutal then that breakdown.
the lead parts weren't great either.
The drums weren't interesting as well.
I'm sorry but i really didnt enjoy this. i love metalcore as much as the next guy but this is a poor show, try again maybe? ill be happy to crit some of your other work.
#4
As others suggest, there's a lot to fix within this piece, particluary the bass line. Overall it was pretty boring for me.
#5
Quote by Architects
Actually, I listened to it twice and I checked out the older verson as well.


and what do you think about the older version then?
#6
What's up with that bass line? Sounds terrible. Overall I think it's pretty generic metalcore. Not my thing, but I'm sure some people will like it.
Check out my band Disturbed
#7
Quote by Architects
I prefer the older version.

Here are some of my thoughts (on the new version):

- 'Hier moet nen chill out'-part is way too long
- Try to make the breakdown more interesting
- I would recommend some double bassing starting from the bar 78
- You have to find a hook for the song because there's nothing that grabs my attention (apart from the short lead at bar 52, but it sounds very awkward)

Just my 2 cents...

First of all thanks for helping me out here and be the first one to post actually something decent.
what is it that you liked better about the old version then?
#9
Quote by Gun Delirious
Why do you randomly change the key signatures in the beginning and at the end?


you think it would sound better if it was in C then? =/