#1
Wrote the riff at measure 25 first, while jamming to a drum loop, and then wrote the riff that comes before it. I then based most of the piece (especially the intro) around the same notes (it has slight key changes)

Once again, a friend who plays keyboard helped me out with this. He wrote the key part from 41-56. The rest is 100% me.

It's rather short for a prog piece, so perhaps even prog skeptics will enjoy.

EDIT: updated with the right one. Rather than trying to find the right link I just save it with a different name and exported it twice, again.
Attachments:
therightone.zip
Last edited by Butt Rayge at Nov 13, 2009,
#2
Section 5 could have been in 4/4 with triplets
But I'm enjoying it. Intro is very much just straight up power metal shred, but then it becomes a bit more DT/JP. Nice bass solo Section 7 sounded like something from Train of Thought.
I like your defination of short Really liked the piano at the end.
Solid B.
#5
That was immense. I don't usually like progressive, but I thought it was really good. Alot of it had progressive elements, but it didn't sound like all the other progressive rubbish that gets posted on here.

The best bit was the intro/outro, really creepy feel to it.

The only thing I thought was off was the last chord, I'm not sure which chord should be in its place, but yeh, that's the only bad thing about it.

Great job!
#6
Quote by Geiger89
That was immense. I don't usually like progressive, but I thought it was really good. Alot of it had progressive elements, but it didn't sound like all the other progressive rubbish that gets posted on here.

The best bit was the intro/outro, really creepy feel to it.

The only thing I thought was off was the last chord, I'm not sure which chord should be in its place, but yeh, that's the only bad thing about it.

Great job!

Ah, thank you. The thing I enjoy most about this crit is that you comfirmed the arrogant claim I made in the first post.
#7
Pretty decent. Solid prog. Again, very Train of Thought-esque, and the intro reminded me of Symphony X. The piano over the last riffs was a bit weird, but I liked the contrast, really liked the keyboard lines. Didn't like the intro-ish kinda bit where the second guitar only played one little run then stopped. Felt off
Overall, very good. Would enjoy hearing this recorded with vocals.
B+/A easily.
#8
First off, I have to say that I enjoyed the Piano being a feature instrument. It's a little bit different to most stuff that uses a piano (most bands in metal only use them in a couple of places >.> since it's there and it's very present throughout the song. The intro and outro are great, good job.
I have to say though, that the tempo change at the end grated with me as did 121-123, the transition felt unnatural. Bars 58-62 felt a lot like they were put in there just to show off that you can change time signatures well - They don't really serve a purpose.
Overall, a nice song.
#9
57-62 was put there for a bit of change of pace, as I wanted to repeat the 5/8 section, but needed something to make it more interesting, rather than just repeating it again. I've always thought it the weakest part of the piece, so I'm not surprised you picked it out. It's not at all there to show off though. I've tried that before and it has never worked.

Thanks for the crit though. It's always good to get a second opinion
#10
I've got an interesting idea for you - in place of the time signature changes, you could cut the guitars and let the piano carry the rhythm solely, giving the guitars the role of jazzy double-leads
Only problem with that would be that you'd need a way to come in and out of the interlude! XD
But seriously though, you're doing great
#11
- 24 - Sound very Dream Theater-ish. Like a mixup between A Nightmare to Remember and Home. Which, in my ears, is not a bad thing. The tension you build is awesome, and really gets me going.

- 40 - It's really getting exciting in this part. I don't really like the drums at first, but when you change them later on, it's nice. Cool to see something else than boom-ping-boom-ping, like some 90's Ulrich. The fretwork in here is nice also

- 90 - The prog in here is awesome. I'm impressed if you can play all that on guitar! Or drums, so to say, with the counting.

- 114 - Although I really like it, I think it might just be a little too much of the same. The drumming is awesome, the double kick pattern fits in really well, but I wish there was more variation in the guitar playing. Nice, anyhow.

- 123 - Wonderful feel after a powerful climax. The slowdown fits in well, and the mood is great. Nothing to improve here.

- end - Couldn't have been another ending for this. But, I think the piano/acoustic outro is a little too long. Short it down, so people don't get bored after such an exciting song.

Overall
Interesting, exciting, and all in all brilliant. It has potential to be something great. 9/10

EDIT: Care to crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1229970
Originally Posted by huevos
You're from Norway, so I find that hard to believe. The lot of ya like to burn churches down and sacrifice virgins to Lord Faust and Isahan.
#12
****in eh bud, I love that intro reminds me of something evil approaching (bar 8), good job on layering the distortion guitars around the piano.

Bar 17 - I'm not usually too big a fan of power metal but man I really like this riff, all the instruments going at once really adds to it as opposed to making it sound like shit, good job!

Bar 41, can't say too much about this, its got a nice groove to it.

Bar 62 I quite liked!

Bar 83, good progression so far, try harmonizing bars 85-86

I didn't think the outro would work as its just the intro, but when I heard it transition from bar 122 I knew it fit like a glove.

Overall this is a good piece, I like it b/c you've put effort into creating melodies w/ different instruments, usually its just 2 guitars bass and drums, so kudos for that!

8/10

thanks for critting my song btw =)
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."