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#2
Quote by Sir-Shredalot
WANT
Help yourself.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#3
I find it so sad to see people find it's amusing to see others in misfortunes. I would sure love to see you cut yourself in half and get your frigging bottom fitted with one of these thing. See if you still WANT it then.
G͔͓̅e͎͉̟̽ͬ͐̎̃͐ͨͅå͈͖͕̹̤̟̐̏͋ͅr̩͕̫̰̗s̹̳̼ͥ̒̍̄̅ͥ̚:


ESP Standard Eclipse I CTM VW
ESP LTD Deluxe H-1001
ESP LTD Deluxe Viper-1000 STBC
ESP Edwards E-EX-100STD
Warmoth Paulcaster "Tiger"
Tanglewood TW170 AS
Vox Tonelab ST
Blackstar HT-1R


#4
Yeah, cause it's funny...

A car pulled out in front of him and the force of the collision sent him flying 20 yards down the road. He suffered a detached retina in both eyes, a fractured pelvis and vertebrae, and broke his left foot, right leg, two wrists, and an ankle. Doctors expected him to die so his brother, a priest, gave him the last rites as his wife and children Alexander and Shelley staged a vigil by his bedside, However he recovered after 13 weeks in hospital and 13 operations, including steel plates in his leg and 4in screws in his pelvis. But two operations to fix his sphincter muscles and control his bowel movements failed. He was fitted with a colostomy bag - which collects waste from an opening in the abdomen - which doctors said he would have for life. Mr Galvin said the embarassment of the bag contributed to the breakdown of his 30-year marriage.

What an absolute bitch!
She left him becuse of the stoma.

He wanted somethign better than his stoma bag because of the smell:

He got an ideal thing, stomas are awful things for people to live with, but his relationship was already ruined.

In the end, he's lucky to be alive, at least he's thankful for being here and has continued on with his life I guess.
Quote by demoniacfashion
Is there any black people on UG?
I don't think a lot of black people play guitar anymore.

Quote by Oasis-fanatic
they all kinda went extinct after hendrix really.


Needless to say, I lol'ed.

Quote by human panda
Appart from being on UG or wanking, thats what i mostly do
#5
this is horrible and awesome at the same time..
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#6
his wife left him but it says hes in a new relationship and he seems happy so i guess he's doing alright
#7
Quote by the bartender
this is horrible and awesome at the same time..

german's have a saying called "Glück im Unglück" which means "luck in bad luck".

this is awesome luck in horrible bad luck.
#8
some of the things they can do today... pretty amazing, althought I guess that is not like a real cutting edge type thing.. but still
#9
I'm glad the doctors got to the bottom of his problem.
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#10
Quote by Kensai
I'm glad the doctors got to the bottom of his problem.

dammit kensai, stop being an ass in every thread you skid into
#11
Quote by CoreysMonster
dammit kensai, stop being an ass in every thread you skid into

Just because you cannot stomach me
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#13
Quote by Kensai
I'm glad the doctors got to the bottom of his problem.


God, Kensai, when will the puns end?
Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
Remember us - if at all - not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.
#14
Quote by Callum89
God, Kensai, when will the puns end?

I think you mean "when will the puns REAR END", amirite?


amirite?
#15
Quote by CoreysMonster
that was just shit.

Quote by Callum89
God, Kensai, when will the puns end?




Relax, I'm just taking the piss
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#16
Somehow as soon as I saw our comedy duo posting I knew this was gonna turn into a punfest

Also,

surgeons performed a complex operation to rebuild bowel.


Did anyone else read this in a russian accent?

But seriuosly, I am pretty impressed by this. Just shows the miracles of science. Soon we will have remote controlled hands and we will have to use a remote control to activate our remote controls.
🙈 🙉 🙊
#17
Quote by CoreysMonster
I think you mean "when will the puns REAR END", amirite?


amirite?



IT BUUUUUUUUUUURNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSS
Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
Remember us - if at all - not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.
#18
Wow, what a pain in the arse. Poor sod.

Though I doubt there will be any sodomy for him in the future.
#19
Quote by Kensai
I'm glad the doctors got to the bottom of his problem.

herregud du gör så här i varje thread
#20
Guys, stop making so many puns about this poor man. It must be harsh to always be the butt of the joke.
#21
i wonder what he does for a night out.

boweling?
Quote by Ichikurosaki
sloth is hacking away feebly at the grass because he is a sloth but he was trying so hard ;_; hes all "penguin im HERE i am here to help you penguin"
#22
Quote by Demon Wolf
i wonder what he does for a night out.

boweling?

He plays craps.
#24
Quote by Demon Wolf
i wonder what he does for a night out.

boweling?

this and the craps pun totally win this thread.


*farts*
#25
i'd have to say this is only number two on the list of impressive things i've seen today.
#DTWD
#26
Quote by primusfan
i'd have to say this is only number two on the list of impressive things i've seen today.

yeah, we still won't ask you what the number 1 is

because that's what you're doing, you just want people to ask you what number 1 is.

Well I won't. I won't do it.

and I encourage everyone else not to do so, as well.
#27
but corey... number two... dont you see?
Quote by Ichikurosaki
sloth is hacking away feebly at the grass because he is a sloth but he was trying so hard ;_; hes all "penguin im HERE i am here to help you penguin"
#28
Quote by CoreysMonster
yeah, we still won't ask you what the number 1 is

because that's what you're doing, you just want people to ask you what number 1 is.

Well I won't. I won't do it.

and I encourage everyone else not to do so, as well.


the first was an 8 year old kid with no arms playing the solo to "diary-a of a madman" on youtube.
#DTWD
#30
Quote by primusfan
the first was an 8 year old kid with no arms playing the solo to "diary-a of a madman" on youtube.


i thought you were making an obvious crap-joke too.
Quote by Ichikurosaki
sloth is hacking away feebly at the grass because he is a sloth but he was trying so hard ;_; hes all "penguin im HERE i am here to help you penguin"
#31
Why was his ex wife so goddamn butthurt?
If it were socially acceptable, I would drape myself in velvet.

Quote by Bassist1992
When I was 11.

Googled "I would like to watch some porn please"



Quote by daytripper75
I;m rdruk I feel no pain

#32
SPHINCTER!

.....*leaves*
E-married to ilikepirates

Quote by bloodtrocuted93

How are you so fucking awesome at music?


>¦<
¦
#33
Quote by SmarterChild
He plays craps.

Oh my God

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#36
Quote by krook205
herregud du gör så här i varje thread



Tell me about it! lol

Kensai är en fjärrstyrd rumpa
#37
This invention has brought his life out of the crapper.

amidoinitrite?
Quote by larrytheguitar

I put the blanket over me and make my knees into a 'tent' so he couldn't see my boner. I jizzed while he gave me a lecture on using coasters.


BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME IS ALWAYS RELEVANT
#38
Quote by IbanezSA160a
This invention has brought his life out of the crapper.

amidoinitrite?


That was not even remotely funny.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Quote by Ichikurosaki
sloth is hacking away feebly at the grass because he is a sloth but he was trying so hard ;_; hes all "penguin im HERE i am here to help you penguin"
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