#1
this is a sci-fi themed death metal song i wrote i write death metal lyrics so dont post crap about how it doesnt flow or how you dont know how to relate. In this genre, feelings and personal songs are not very common


Celestial Deception

In the far reaches of the cosmos
Far beyond humanity's grasp
A race of stellar beings
Eons ahead of mankind

Boasting of celestial supremacy
Sitting silently in dormancy
Until the moment arrives
When they shall descend upon
Our weak and pathetic planet

The events we shall witness
Burned into our memory
The evidence of what transpired
Shall burn with the human race

They appear without warning
With false ambitions of universal peace
They appease us with gratuity
To gain our blinded trust

And through their facade
They destroy us from within

Man, naive and easily fooled
Man, destroys himself unknowingly

We've become our own enemy
So easily ensnared

These interstellar liars
Sit patiently and watch
Their treachery wreak its havok
#2
It is hard with Death metal type vocals to imagine how it will sound but I like a lot of the lines.

In my head I'm hearing the first parts with death metal vocals and then the last 4 parts (below) sung. Maybe like the clean parts in stuff by Sybreed or Scar Symmetry or something.

"And through their facade
They destroy us from within

Man, naive and easily fooled
Man, destroys himself unknowingly

We've become our own enemy
So easily ensnared

These interstellar liars
Sit patiently and watch
Their treachery wreak its havok"
#3
pretty decent. a bit standard though, th concept of hunamity's demise.

The events we shall witness
Burned into our memory
The evidence of what transpired
Shall burn with the human race

this bit is too plain. ur repeating burned and burn.
try sumthin like

The events we shall witness
dominate our tattered memoris
#4
Quote by VIO-LENT
pretty decent. a bit standard though, th concept of hunamity's demise.

The events we shall witness
Burned into our memory
The evidence of what transpired
Shall burn with the human race

this bit is too plain. ur repeating burned and burn.
try sumthin like

The events we shall witness
dominate our tattered memoris

sweet thanks bro that makes it tons better
the tough part of frequently used concepts is making it unique
your suggestion is greatly appreciated