#1
C4C.

As the title shows, this is an untitled (because I haven't written the lyrics yet) piece, which, in my opinion (although I'm not that good with genres), takes elements from Post-Punk, Alternative, and Post-Grunge. As always, be honest, be harsh, and most importantly of all, be constructive.

Edit: I've titled it "I Swear"; the lyrics are in my sig.
Attachments:
Projecta 43.zip
Last edited by herby190 at Nov 28, 2009,
#2
Quote by herby190
C4C.

As the title shows, this is an untitled (because I haven't written the lyrics yet) piece, which, in my opinion (although I'm not that good with genres), takes elements from Post-Punk, Alternative, and Post-Grunge. As always, be honest, be harsh, and most importantly of all, be constructive.


Heya, thanks for the crit.

I can't really say I'm very fond of this genre, but I can't say it's bad either. Only thing, though, is that some parts feels a bit too long.
#3
Very catchy.

Intro: It's fairly good, but it does drag on for much too long. I would bring the bass in at bar 4, and the drums at bar 8.

Also bars 19-20 are off. the guitars themselves sound a little weird, but you've also got the bass playing a C note while the guitars are playing an E chord.

Bar 24 is weird as well. one guitar is playing an Asus4 chord the other an E5 and the bass a C note. Just doesn't sound good.

Verse: I like the idea, but I think it'd be a good idea to bring the bass and drums in a lot quicker than you do.

Pre-chorus. Great idea, and for the most part sounds good. Bars 53 56 61 and 62 are very dissonant sounding though. Find something that suits the chords you're playing over a little better.

The Chorus. Good again, but still more dissonant stuff that shouldn't be there. Check 67 68

Anyway, I think from that point everything just repeats itself.

You've got a lot of really strong ideas and good rhythms, but you've really got to be careful in your note choice. There's just a ton of dissonance throughout the song which really needs to be fixed.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22281379
#4
Update in the OP; I fixed up a lot of the dissonance.

As for the verse, the vocals will start right at the verse mark, so they'll carry it until the bass and drums add in; it won't be just the guitar.
#5
Sounds really cool. Kinda caught me off guard alittle with the dissonance factor, then it was really cool. The harmony over the top really melded it tolgether too

Fender Telecaster w/ GFS Lil' Killer
Jet City Pico Valve

Quote by Chaos-Serenade

The fretboard is dry because it is more than likely made in China.

I wonder how he came to this conclusion.
Lyrics
Inside the back
Walk with me
Reign, Rain

Call me Drew
#6
Intro was rather boring, sorry. But fits the genre. I liked the drums though. I liked the second guitar that came in, gave more depth to the song. Didn't like the chorus, too major. Liked verse II though. Bridge was decent, but I didn't like the drums here. 7/10, not really my style. It's got a raw feel to it though, which fits what you're trying to do.
#7
I wasn't a fan of the little rolls the drums were doing, I thought they sounded a little silly at times.

Bridge sounded good, but didn't transist to the chorus that smoothly, it felt like it was building up to something different.

Bar 53 was a little too dissonant.

Aside from that, I really liked the piece - it was catchy, refreshing and not at all a generic song like some of the things you see on these boards. 7/10
#8
Intro: Like the drum work and the structure, I'd expand that first riff and and isnert some little hammer ons and slides here and there to make it more memorable.

Verse: The break was quite unexpected and it wasn't very fluent. You need to have the bass play a not in the first bar and insert a drum kick oer the cymbal, otherwise it's too irritating.
I dont know if the verse will actually work, I'd have some bass or hi hat playing in the background.
The bass later on is a bit annoying, it's too high for me.
Also, some drum fills don't work the way they should.

Pre Chorus:Maybe it would work in an actual recording, but in Gp the second guitar gives me a headache.

Bridge: Again, the transitions doesn't work well. Let the 2nd guitar and the bass slide down in the first bar, makes the change clear to the listener. I really like the second of the bridge though.

Outro: Bar 156 was odd, you have to do something about that.

All in all as "A Rock Bassist" said it's not really generic, but nothing special either. If you work on the flaws in there you will have a rather catchy song on your hands though. 7.5/10

C4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22347553
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
#10
Thanks for the crit!
I think you had a really nice theme going throughout the whole song, for the genre it's good
The fact that you used lots of different chords (not just powerchord) kept it interesting for me
I'm not very familiar with the genre, but from what I can tell it was great!