#1
The paradox is that it brings pain/it's like bread with butter and brains/so now plate up the muck with a-plenty syrup/just so I can get a taste.

Gourmet anatomy.

A glorious paint-by-numbers centrepiece/we will consume and then release/want to speak to God? bow before his Son?/then of his dead flesh you must eat.

Keep me before I leave.



C4C. I intend to work this into a fully-fledged song, so I'll put extra effort into returning crits to those who give advice on adding instruments to it. Cheers.
#2
Hello and sorry for not replying before now, but it said ripoff in the title..
From the way you critiqued my lyrics i dont know how much advice i can give you, because i feel that if i was to accept someone correcting my lyrics with their own, i would not have any artistic integrity.. hehe..
But still, i'll give you my crit on it still.
I flows good, which you obviously put some work into. I feel that you can change "a-plenty" with something more bloody/dark and still keep the flow.
Is it about cannibalism? -thats all i read. What is the metaphor on?

Keep workin on it though!