#1
The hanged man trying to catch his breath
on the turn of the death card.
He sees his future
through the mist of the crystal ball;
a vision so horrific, he pulls out his eyes.

His blood runs down his cheeks
as he feeds his eyes to his dog.
It licks its lips
and looks up as if wanting more,
but his master cannot see;
the vision so horrific,
still burned in his brain.

A gargantuan, a behemoth,
chasing him through the woods,
getting ever closer.
The burning hot breath,
like a tiny star on the nape of his neck.
Cries, like a giant bear,
crushing his spirit.

It catches him, flings him through the trees
and he ends up on the edge of a lake.
It bubbles and boils and he drops to his knees.
The water is tainted red,
and on the other side is a horned man.
He is pointing; he is laughing.

The horned man jumps the lake
in one swift motion and grabs
the hanged man by the throat.
His skull fractures on the crown
and he becomes a fountain of his own blood.
His eyes pop, the sound of a distant firework.
Aqueous humour slithers down his cheek
and into his unwelcoming mouth.

He is dragged into the lake,
kicking and thrashing in the pain.
The horned man cackles his delight
as the vision dims and dies.

The hanged man, blind as darkness,
scratches his name into the wall,
fingernails worn to the pulp,
fingertips from skin to bone.
He fills his eye-sockets with methanol
and pours it over his body.
He empties the rest of the canister
around his dark room and fumbles for the matches.
He strikes a match, throws it to the ground,
and exclaims to no one, “Let there be light.”
#2
I remember reading an old piece of yours, which i really liked the dark-ish style of it. It was a story in a couple of parts actually.

And here i'm liking your dark-ish style even more.

The only thing i would change would be the first line as the last stanza, the "blind as darkness" part. To me the comparison felt weak.

But aside from that, the whole piece as a creepy-feel i rarely get to read here. Great piece.

I know that wasn't much of a crit, but if you have some time to look at mine.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1230681