#1
A song I made for my band as we are currently starting to do our own material. This is a darkish song about war basically and how it (may) influence a person and why they feel it is happening or whatever.

Song title is a working progress.


http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/Donkey+Fly/

Lyrics

Taking lives for a living
It's no good, no good for this world, no good for your soul
but we know it's never gonna end, never end, and it's driving me crazy

and I feel so full inside and I feel like I'm gonna explode
with the thoughts and scenes so guilty
In my mind, haunting my mind

A sickening truth
Hidden behind christened lies
and so we believe what were told
according to a god that barely exists in this world

and I feel so full inside and I feel like I'm gonna explode
with the thoughts and scenes so guilty
In my mind, haunting my mind




Have a gander.
Flap it and enjoy yourself...

Xbox Live GT = The Donkey Fly
'...and those who fought on that day of honor, the day of victory shall be forever remembered as Lime Green' - Oct 31st 08
Last edited by Donkey Fly at Nov 17, 2009,
#2
EPIC. Super production, great songwriting, amazing vocals.

and your song move on just came on, that ones is incredible as well
❒ Taken ❒ Single ✔ Would like a sandwich


Vereor Deus

Quote by dann_blood
Branding!?!? THAT'S TOO PROGRESSIVE! I say bring back settlement payments in weights of lead and impalement upon wooden stakes!


Quote by Doctor Matthews
Oh! Sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
#3
Thanks alot
Flap it and enjoy yourself...

Xbox Live GT = The Donkey Fly
'...and those who fought on that day of honor, the day of victory shall be forever remembered as Lime Green' - Oct 31st 08
#5
holy sh*t. rarely do a see such a good song on here, it is really good vocals and instruments too of course! this song sounds really unique and different, at least from what I usually hear, and I think it's great man. keep it up =) I really like the unexpected tone change at the word "guilty". Only suggestion is that it isn't great sound quality, but I understand it's not a final draft or anything =)
#6
Good song. I would have liked some kind of melody over the overdriven part, even if it's just re-doing the last line ("haunting my mind") a few times.

If you'll be singing this with the band I suggest working a bit on your microphone technique; you have a few really annoying plosives and a few exhales that really distract from a good melody. I'd also change the delay you have on there.
"If money is the root of all evil, I'd like to be a bad, bad man."

- Huey Lewis & the News
#7




You get a worship stack! This is f***ing amazing! Great tone, great playing, great writing, great lyrics, great melody... I WANT YOUR CD!

Crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1231286
Quote by dr_shred
FrustratedRocka you are a legend

Quote by littlephil

The man clearly knows his shit.

Quote by Banjocal


one of the best, educated and logical posts I've ever seen on UG in the Pit. Well done good sir.
Last edited by FrustratedRocka at Nov 17, 2009,
#8
Thanks guys

I do like this one myself, not like what I usually do to be honest. As for my microphone technique, I agree, and I'll work on that.

:P
Flap it and enjoy yourself...

Xbox Live GT = The Donkey Fly
'...and those who fought on that day of honor, the day of victory shall be forever remembered as Lime Green' - Oct 31st 08