#1
No, You Haven't Broken The Mould

Oh, how incredible it is,
The hypocrisy –

The unrelenting chains of teenagers,
Castigating, criticising, and endlessly chastising
Those that become herded like sheep,
Those conforming to the nature of contemporary society,
Those corrupted by MTV.

Yet, in reality,
By becoming the ostracised,
And labelling the content as ‘blind’,
They’ll label themselves
And become obedient to their shepherd,
Individuality.

Swimming against a tidal wave of contradiction and false profession,
I ask myself,
Am I just the same?
Last edited by Deltast0rm at Nov 17, 2009,
#2
I don't understand all the fancy words, but this is a really good poem!
#4
What a moment of self-honesty. Something I've always wanted to hear from another person.
#5
Quote by Zeoilvia
I don't understand all the fancy words, but this is a really good poem!


Lol i don't understand them either but i get the whole poem =) nice work man
#6
Not sure about this.
I rarely frequent this part of the forums, but I might, just to put out some lyricism that comes to mind. Mostly stream of conscious pieces, so it's a given that they will suck.

As for the poem, it's a bit abrasive, with no specific critique and aimed at a general audience of conforming anti-conformists. That era is done. BUT, I'm glad you realized that in the final 2 lines. Without that ending quip, this would have been utter tripe. Your finale has such poignancy and an almost urgent need for self assurance. Paranoia too.
It's deep and shallow in unequal quantities, but I'm not sure which way the scale tips on that uneven "balance".

Good work. Looking into panpsychism and property dualism has brought about a new perspective in my life (I don't adhere to either, but I do find merit in at least looking into those ideas).
This piece put me into that frame of mind, although on a more personal level (not on the cosmic level that the those philosophies pertain to, although that might be a ignorant statement).

I know you probably didn't intend to put that into your work intentionally, but as they say, art is about having open interpretations.
You've inspired with to start posting some lyrics on forum. It could be a helpful catharsis.
That, and I need to improve my literary skills.