kinda a reaction AGAINST most "broken hearts" songs.

"Broken Hearts"
I saw a maiden grow a corpse
Now he coulda been murdered or coulda had warts
The cause of death could be of any sort
Except a broken heart.

Momma said, "Don't ever quit"
More with her eyes than with her lips
Now it's gotten me out of a few bad trips
Except some broken hearts

Rain keeps falling through the door
So pick a side, 'cause this means war!
And the battle ends with just a roar
A roar and a broken heart.

So it's alright if you decide to leave
We've had some fun (you know what I mean)
Now, I won't cry, but you will, I see
And that would break my heart.

"Dry your eyes" I start to say
As the leaves on the trees begin to sway
And the wind that blew my mind away
Blew away our broken hearts.
I felt it was a solid song. I didn't like when you brought out the "coulda had warts" card in the second line. And I think the ending could have been a tad bit stronger. But otherwise nice song good sir.

EDIT: I take that back. I misread the ending. The end is solid. So just the second line thing.
Last edited by 21wickwing at Nov 17, 2009,
thank ya, wrote this a while ago, i guess "warts" was to signify that people really can die of just about anything (plus it rhymed lol)

I'll work on that, thank ya VERY much.
Nice song allthrough.

Some stuff thought,
i didn't really like when you used "coulda" instead of "could have". In my mind it makes it gangsta, but might be a personal preference.

Also, last line of the last stanza, "blew our broken hearts away" sounds better in my head. Again, personal preference if you want it to rhyme a 3rd time or not.
(btw, that last stanza was beautiful.)

C4C ?
and "coulda" was written to show that it was supposed to be quick in order to keep rhythm

I wanted to keep the last stanza with "blew away our broken hearts" because it ends with "broken hearts" the way other stanzas do, IE, (strict 4/4 rhythm with beats accented with capitals)
COULDA been MURdered or COULDA had WARTS

Coulda is meant to be one syllable (or that quick), instead of could have which must be two syllables.
My mistake then.

And true about the last line, now that i re-read it it is better like that.