#1
Just seen this on cracked and wondered if anyone has ever tried it or knows anything about how productive it might be? I know I'm pretty gullible, so don't bother telling me that if it's ridiculous.

So you just picked up the night shift at your local McDonald's, you have class every morning at 8am and you have no idea how you're going to make it through the day without looking like a guy straight out of Dawn of the Dead, minus the blood... hopefully.

What if we told you there was a way to sleep for little more than two hours a day, and still feel more refreshed than taking a 12-hour siesta on a bed made entirely out of baby kitten fur? No more sneaking naps at the fry station for you!

Holy Shit! How Do I Do It?

It's called the Uberman Sleep Schedule, and besides having a totally badass name, it's a way to get the maximum amount of essential sleep for your body without wasting hours of precious time you could be using to work or drink or farm for World of Warcraft gold. The schedule consists of taking six, 20-30 minute power naps, every four hours during the day. Of course, this new sleep pattern blows donkey-dick to get used to, but it's a price you have to pay to basically extend your waking life by several years.

The best way to start it off is to just jump right in. Get to sleep at 8pm, set your alarm for 8:30. Get up, play some Call of Duty, sleep again at 12, alarm at 12:30, and so on. After three or four days of this you will start to get high as **** because of sleep deprivation, and might just want to kill yourself, but don't do it! That would be absolutely counter-productive.

By day 10 or so, your brain will say, "****! FINE, we'll do it your way," and will adapt to your new superhuman sleep schedule.

How Does It Work?

When you sleep normally, your body gets only about an hour and a half of REM sleep, the kind of sleep that is thought to be the most important to keeping your brain sharp. While other stages of sleep help your body to heal and grow, the REM sleep is what makes you feel rested.


The first few days of adjusting are tough because your body isn't getting ANY of this REM sleep, and your brain hates you for it. After the third day, or so, your brain figures out that you mean business, and every time you lay down for one of these naps, dives directly into REM sleep in an attempt to compensate for the deprivation. Do some quick math and that's two full hours of REM sleep, while those who are sleeping normally are only getting an hour and a half.

Before you know it, while the rest of the world snores away, you'll be up and drawing dicks on their faces.


TL;DR - Sleep for 30 minutes 6 times a day (once every four hours) and feel fully rested, after around ten days of getting used to it.
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#3
You do realize cracked is a humor site, yes?
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#6
Quote by Spoony_Bard
You do realize cracked is a humor site, yes?

I realise that, I just recall having seen true things on there before.
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#7
Quote by Spoony_Bard
You do realize cracked is a humor site, yes?


Cracked is not the only place this thing shows up on.

I'd never be able to try this. Because, ya know, I work more than four hour shifts, and they'd frown upon me sleeping for a half an hour.
#10
Quote by Aléx
I realise that, I just recall having seen true things on there before.

Actually, I've heard of this elsewhere. I dunno about how true it is, but think about it. Would you be able to hold a regular job if you had to sleep every 4 hours? It seems like it would be really interrupting in everyday life. There's a reason we sleep at night, because nothing goes on then. It's no fun to be awake at 4am because there's nothing to do!
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#11
I think you'd have to be in a special kind of job for this to be of any use. When would you rather sleep - every four hours all day, fixing your schedule around it; or in a normal block when everyone else is asleep too?
#12
try it

If you don't, I will during my next week off
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#13
there was a seinfeld about this...

and it probably doesnt work
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#14
Quote by Aléx
TL;DR - Sleep for 30 minutes 6 times a day (once every four hours) and feel fully rested, after around ten days of getting used to it.


Would that not mean you're sleeping for three hours a day?
#15
Holy crap, that would be beautiful for me if it actually worked. Some test and report back for the sake of UG!
#17
Quote by garfgarfgarf
Would that not mean you're sleeping for three hours a day?

>_> yes.

And I'd love to try it, just because, but I have college and no holidays until Christmas. And I certainly don't want to be grouchy at such a festive time.
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#18
It works, it forces you to only sleep a certain kind of sleep.

It's not good for your social life, but it's awesome if you want to stay awake for 21-22 hours a day.

But it's a bastard to get into, and a bastard to get out of. I do not reccomend it.

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Last edited by osXtiger at Nov 18, 2009,
#19
I've heard about it, and plan on trying it once summer rolls around. If you look at the reasoning about it, it makes sense that it would work. Not sure how it'll work in practice, though. It has everything to do with training your body to drop directly into REM sleep, which is the most restful part. The average person only gets 1.5/2 hours of REM sleep with a full 8 hours, the rest is spent in the other stages. So really, you get more REST, just less sleep.
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#20
Ask Kramer
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#21
I'm planning on trying this during the winter holidays.
I have NOTHING better to do then.
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#22
Your body will be in pain from not resting if you try it


on another note i might try it over christmas so ill keep you up to date if i do try.
#23
I go to school and anyone with a job will find this very unconvenient.
Imagine your at a festival and pass out in the pit. Everybody will think you have died or something like that.
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#27
Quote by technical death
ohh god that first response made me LOL irl

Is there a way to LOL not IRL?
#28
I heard about this and was quite interested in it. I'm a bit tempted to try, but it's probably not worth the health problems/feeling like shit.

Maybe if I have a really shitty life when I get past my twenties I'll try it.
#29
The first 10 days sound suicidal, I had insomnia a few months a go that lasted for a fortnight and it was truly one of the worst two weeks of my life
#30
Quote by osXtiger
It works, it forces you to only sleep a certain kind of sleep.

It's not good for your social life, but it's awesome if you want to stay awake for 21-22 hours a day.

But it's a bastard to get into, and a bastard to get out of. I do not reccomend it.

Why, have you done it before?


On a side note:

I Cracked
Last edited by crazy8rgood at Nov 18, 2009,
#31
My friend tried it for a while and after a week your body is so ****ed up you just don't wake up until it feels it's had enough sleep.
He called me a rapist and a recluse! Iam not a recluse!
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#32
Didn't Leonardo DaVinci sleep 20 minutes every 3 hours?

It worked for him, and he's a genius....
Sounds good, DO IT FA.. Just do it
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