#1
sometimes it must be right
to reabandon pace
and smile for the unfamiliar.

various lights combining sight
to sense what cannot be touched.

a glacial face smirks at me at random
when cities serve to be deserted
by the plastic highway mold
we’re all a little less concerned by.

preference to the clay and ice
to reflections being melted by the sky,
her edge,
and furthermore I wonder if you’ve read
along the lines I’ve read,
the consequence of somewhat torrential lies.


I was just born like that
my sight was just blurred like that
with just enough emotion to justify
what’s right and wrong, so tell me now
where I should stand and with what sign
outlining my beliefs and values.

a Capricorn of righteous views
twisted versions of twice told truth
the speed of which will never be
as expected as when I look at you
and me.
#2
The final stanza didn't justify this piece enough; it was stark from the punchline and artificial as a conclusion. But that was probably more due to the previous stanza before which showcased your strong ability to write ingenious images that are both engaging and relatable in context and structure.
Otherwise I have no real problems with this at all. This served to me as a huge urban observation that the narrator was once blinded from but at once question his inner being and own beliefs and morals. Thank you for sharing, Sean- forgive that no one seems to care.
#3
care is overrated. this was originally two poems, the last two stanzas the second, and it may remain that way. I never liked it anyway. my gratitude is yours.
#4
i think everything you write means the world to you when you write it and that's in part with why it means so much to me. There is a reason to write this, and a reason to read it that is bigger than most of the stuff we see written here and in a lot of cases elsewhere. I'm not sure this is you're most eloquent and exciting and moving piece but even so you can feel something going on underneath, to continue with the harshly extreme grandiose praise, like something happening far away like an earthquake so far you don't notice its an earthquake because the ground isnt shaking but theres something going on out there. This one felt a little less involved (in a physical sense) than some of your others but it is somewhere, I am sure.

happy trails
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me