#1
I finshed a written solo for lady bird today for my guitar lesson. I like how it sounds but there is something missing. Anyone have any comments/criticisms?
Attachments:
ladybird.gp5
Quote by shakin'cakes
First of all, I enjoy deathcore for it's complexity and it's the only genre heavy enough for me



Quote by Highway60Bob
I want an amp good for playing hippie tunes. I want it to be an actual amp, not a tube amp.
#3
GP4 version:
Attachments:
ladybird.gp4
Quote by shakin'cakes
First of all, I enjoy deathcore for it's complexity and it's the only genre heavy enough for me



Quote by Highway60Bob
I want an amp good for playing hippie tunes. I want it to be an actual amp, not a tube amp.
#4
It's not bad, but you're right it does feel like it's missing something.

It almost sounds a little dry to me. Like a lot of little random scale runs that don't really lead anywhere.

Maybe go for something with a little more melody, or something at least a little more memorable.

C4C? Either of the top two songs in my sig would be good. Or both since I think you still owe me one from a while back
#5
yea I do ha. im at work again now but after band practice tonight ill get around to it sorry haha

anyway yea i agree. my guitar teacher liked it though. he said it sounded like thelonius monk. Ill have to take that as a compliment haha
Quote by shakin'cakes
First of all, I enjoy deathcore for it's complexity and it's the only genre heavy enough for me



Quote by Highway60Bob
I want an amp good for playing hippie tunes. I want it to be an actual amp, not a tube amp.
Last edited by pmeg568c at Nov 20, 2009,
#6
I liked the rhythm here, but the solo itself was, no offence meant, mostly crap. Sounded more like a melody line, and not a nice one at that. It was also rather repetitive. 9.5/10 for rhythm, 3/10 for solo.
C4C?
Last edited by jimmyled at Nov 20, 2009,
#7
Quote by jimmyled
I liked the rhythm here, but the solo itself was, no offence meant, mostly crap. Sounded more like a melody line, and not a nice one at that. It was also rather repetitive. 9.5/10 for rhythm, 3/10 for solo.
C4C?


geez man isn't a solo inherently a melody line? I don't think its amazing or anything but after hearing some positive comments from my teacher I definitely do not think its crap. Have you ever listened to a Charlie Parker solo? John Coltrane? Its just a massive melody line.

If anything is repetitive its the rhythms...just a bunch of eights, and triplets. I may use a lot of the same notes but every measure is a completely different mode or scale.
Quote by shakin'cakes
First of all, I enjoy deathcore for it's complexity and it's the only genre heavy enough for me



Quote by Highway60Bob
I want an amp good for playing hippie tunes. I want it to be an actual amp, not a tube amp.
#8
Quote by pmeg568c
geez man isn't a solo inherently a melody line? I don't think its amazing or anything but after hearing some positive comments from my teacher I definitely do not think its crap. Have you ever listened to a Charlie Parker solo? John Coltrane? Its just a massive melody line.

If anything is repetitive its the rhythms...just a bunch of eights, and triplets. I may use a lot of the same notes but every measure is a completely different mode or scale.

Man, don't take it hard. And yes, wrong term. I meant vocal line. I'm not saying it's terrible, just that I hated it (it's not that I don't like Jazz, I didn't like this). What's the point of asking for a criticism if you're unwilling to accept it?
And about the repetitiveness, it all sounds like pretty much the same pattern played somewhat differently. You don't have to agree, that's my opinion.
Last edited by jimmyled at Nov 20, 2009,
#9
ive been over this, but i don't like criticism if the only thing people can say is "i dont like this" and can't explain it to me why. are you saying i should use less notes? Because the solo has a vocal line, its just more prominent in certain parts. And they are broken up, for instance. I would venture to say you don't like it because of all the weird intervals I use, because lots of people don't like hearing that kind of stuff.
Quote by shakin'cakes
First of all, I enjoy deathcore for it's complexity and it's the only genre heavy enough for me



Quote by Highway60Bob
I want an amp good for playing hippie tunes. I want it to be an actual amp, not a tube amp.
#10
OK. First bar, the high mi was really out of place, I hated it. Then there's this OK linear scale downward progression. Second bar was pretty good, and so was third. Fourth was meh, something about the phrasing. 5 and 6 were unremarkable, simple licks. 7 was great, but 8's phrasing and rhythm was terrible. 9 and 10 really fit with the backing track. 11's out of scale notes didn't fit at all, made it sound more like pointless wanking IMO. 12's phrasing and rhythm again, was crap. 13 was the same, though it had potential. The last bars were complete and utter shite IMO, in all aspects.
That's just my opinion, so don't take it hard.
#12
k see what i mean? watch

Bar 1: the high "mi" is a chord tone. how can that be out of place?

Bar 8: i guess this is a matter of opinion yes

Bar 11: those notes are not out of scale. i believe i used either A dorian or some kind of symetrical scale. im not working with major scales here. these are mostly dorian, mixolydian, lydian, symetrical or diminshed scales.

Bar 12: matter of opinion i guess. you really hate triplets huh?

Bar 14 is a diminshed scale.

Bar 15 i dunno what i was thinking there

Bars 16 and 17 are my favorite part of the piece arpeggios through modes. I think it sounds awesome.

thanks for elaborating but like i said, when you can't even really hear what im doing its hard for me to take criticism.
Quote by shakin'cakes
First of all, I enjoy deathcore for it's complexity and it's the only genre heavy enough for me



Quote by Highway60Bob
I want an amp good for playing hippie tunes. I want it to be an actual amp, not a tube amp.
#13
Quote by pmeg568c
k see what i mean? watch

Bar 1: the high "mi" is a chord tone. how can that be out of place?

Bar 8: i guess this is a matter of opinion yes

Bar 11: those notes are not out of scale. i believe i used either A dorian or some kind of symetrical scale. im not working with major scales here. these are mostly dorian, mixolydian, lydian, symetrical or diminshed scales.

Bar 12: matter of opinion i guess. you really hate triplets huh?

Bar 14 is a diminshed scale.

Bar 15 i dunno what i was thinking there

Bars 16 and 17 are my favorite part of the piece arpeggios through modes. I think it sounds awesome.

thanks for elaborating but like i said, when you can't even really hear what im doing its hard for me to take criticism.

1: It's out of place because you suddenly go up with no form of transition.
8: Indeed it is, all of it is.
11: Mode or not, it sounds like crap to me (if you like it leave it, it is my opinion after all...).
12: I don't usually hate triplets, but here I do, because, to me, they sound out of place.
14: Well I didn't like it.
15:
16-17: To me it sounds terrible.
You're forgetting you asked for opinions. Not everyone likes the same stuff you do.
#14
This is damn good, reminds me of Thelonius Monk meets Charlie Parker meets Charlie Christian. I like how well thought out the solo is. It's pretty much a standard be-bopish style solo but with your own spin on it. Nice work bro
#15
I have to admit I find this solo rather boring, but I always tend to focus on rhythm instead of tonality and note choice.

To me, it pretty much sounds like wanking a few scales as jimmyled said.

Why dont you use some bends?slides?legatos? throw in some hammerd 16th triplets and some longer pauses to make the solo more dynamic.

If you like I could try to rewrite some parts of the solo tomorrow.

Check out this one if you have some time, maybe look at the solo I put there
It's really my first jazz song, written without any knowledge of even basic theory
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1233338
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
#16
Mhh.. bleh, didn't really like this solo. Sounded like vocal line for some chilly song. I've heard many, many better jazz solos. Altough it had some nice parts in it. I would give 6/10.
#17
chill is my style man. thats kind of what i do with everything. i think its neat that i can set it to jazz and still have people like it
Quote by shakin'cakes
First of all, I enjoy deathcore for it's complexity and it's the only genre heavy enough for me



Quote by Highway60Bob
I want an amp good for playing hippie tunes. I want it to be an actual amp, not a tube amp.