#1
AFTER THE STYLE OF COHEED AND CAMBRIA

Sung, preferably by Tenor- Baritone

On the edge of a sword blade
Want you to take it away
Bring your love to the party
This is no new thing
I can’t help feeling
That this secret will not die

Bridge
Rip this cancer away
Feel me once again

Chorus
For I would do anything for you
Now that I’m suffering for you
Take it away
Take it away
TAKE IT AWAY (Shouted, not screamed)

So show me your soul
Lets see the blackened beast inside
That haunts my days(Bring your love to the party(vocalized in background))
The river of bullets
Its coming can you feel it
A clawing thought at your chest

Rip this cancer away
Feel me once again

For I would do anything for you
Now that I’m suffering for you
Take it away
Take it away
TAKE IT AWAY (Shouted, not screamed)

(INSTRUMENTAL, preferably guitar solo)

For I would do anything for you
Now that I’m suffering for you
Take it away
Take it away
TAKE IT AWAY (Shouted, not screamed)
What is this that stands before me?

Figure in black that points at me...


FUCKETH THINE SELF
#2
This is good.

Pros: It sounds very sincere and thought-out. If accompanied by music I'm sure it would "pan out" a lot better than it does as poetry.

Cons: I don't like the lack of any concrete rhythm or rhyme, but, like I said, with the backdrop of music and the employment of a vocal style, it could show it's true colors.

It also seems very vague to me. I'm sure there's a personal allegory present in this but it seems like it would be difficult for the average Joe to decipher any concrete meaning from it.
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.


-Jimi Hendrix-

Quote by CodySG
You know you're in the drug thread when you see pictures of squash and "tuna nigga!" when you click the page.
#3
Quote by dudetheman
This is good.

Pros: It sounds very sincere and thought-out. If accompanied by music I'm sure it would "pan out" a lot better than it does as poetry.

Cons: I don't like the lack of any concrete rhythm or rhyme, but, like I said, with the backdrop of music and the employment of a vocal style, it could show it's true colors.

It also seems very vague to me. I'm sure there's a personal allegory present in this but it seems like it would be difficult for the average Joe to decipher any concrete meaning from it.


Its a bit flawed, but I put it together in a very short amount of time. thanks for the feed.
What is this that stands before me?

Figure in black that points at me...


FUCKETH THINE SELF