#1
Been a while since I've posted anything on here as I've been pretty busy with other stuff lately, but I managed to finally buckle down and finish this one. The only thing I'm not quite sure of is if the verse fits, and once again the vocal melodies are just some rough ideas. So yeah, hopefully you enjoy and I'll do c4c if I have time to
Attachments:
Cirrus.zip
#3
beautiful
Gear
-Ibanez RG321 ( /w D-Sonic)
-Agile AL-3100 (/w Custom + '59)
-Yamaha FG730S
-Crybaby 535Q
-Keeley TS-9
-ISP Decimator
-B-52 AT-212
Quote by Mental-lica
My hats off to you mr. lanzaa and you can put this in your sig

M en
E jaculating
T o
A wful
L yrics
#5




Beautiful. This is an absolute masterpiece.
Gear
Ibanez GIO Electric Guitar
Ibanez V50 Acoustic Guitar
Peavey Vypyr 75watt
RP55 Guitar Modulation (thinking of selling)


Fairmount Avenue
#6
*sigh* Get over yourselves people, he's done better. It's not THAT special.

That said, nice job. I really like the melodies and the chord progressions , and the vocal melodies are very nice. But that's the thing about this song; its all just nice. It's good, but doesnt really feel like it goes anywhere, or has much of a sense of urgency at any point. Like, it plods along, sounding perfect all the while, then ends.

If it had maybe a build up in there or something, I dunno, maybe it'd stick with me more. And I really like the outro solo, but as well as it all flows, I feel like a build up in to that solo would push this song into the 'great' territory.

So yeah. Good, but not great. I really like what you do in this style though. It's quite effective and emotionally touching. Just needs maybe a bit more direction.
#7
the highest praise i can give this song is that it makes me wanna write and do epic shit . It's well paced, in my opinion, and really isn't long enough for me to crave a buildup like the previous poster stated, its thickly layered with expertly crafted melodic lines and I couldn't ask for more.

C4C if you're bored
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=20665585#post20665585
#9
Nice song dude, I like the style a lot.

There's a lot of orchestration throughout that although sometimes may sound a bit chaotic, it's never unpleasant to my ear. I particularly enjoy you use of the rhodes piano and the strings to sort of fill in the soundscape, if you know what I mean - it makes a nice wash of sounds in the background that makes it sound very atmospheric.

Verse comes in with the prog touches on the distorted guitar, sounds really cool to me. The only little quip I have here is that the vocal melodies are underwhelming for the type of music. I feel in some of the more chord revolving passages, the vocals should really carry the music forward, and they seem to just get lost in the mix in some parts.

I really love the chords in the Chorus, full chords like that really turn me on musically =D. Unfortunately it kind of seemed to miss that... chorusy feeling to it. It had trouble really sticking out from the post chorus, also. Might be a lack of dynamic fluctuation, the song really seems to pummel forth without really dropping or raising in intensity until the second bridge.

I really like the break, the drum drag sounds really cool here, and then bam, double bass kicks in and it really gives that intensity boost that was lacking in the beggining. Sounds really cool!

I just gotta say your ending fadeout is rather abrupt, and overall, the vocals need a lot more space - they get lost within the constant shifting bass lines and melodies on top of those full chords, and the vocals really have no place to shine. Other than that, great piece though, I rather enjoyed it - Rather cool development of style also, originality's always a plus for me =D.
#11
Thanks for the crit, and sorry it's taken so long to return crit.

I swear I've heard this one before, did you enter it into a competition a while back?

Fantastic song though. The lead guitar is consistently good throughout the entire song.

Normally I'm not a huge fan of heavily produced songs like this one, but I think you've done a really good job of keeping everything subtle.

There are a few problems, but most of it's nit picky.

I can't say I'm too fond of the pre-chorus. The time changes didn't really add anything to the song, and they kind of felt like you placed them there just so you could say they were there.

I think the vocals are a little underwhelming. They don't have much space, and what's there could really be doing so much more than it is. Right now it'd almost seem like a better idea to drop the vocals entirely in favour of an instrumental type track.

I also agree with other people about the lack of dynamics. It just plows forwards the entire way, a little more space in some places would definitely add a lot.

The clean solo was also a little bit quiet.

Still, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to it start to finish.
#12
i thought this was awesome. it gave me that feeling i get when you listen to an awesome new band. you have talent dude.