#2
I'm surprised, good riffs man, although this is not original at all (read: at all) it does the trick for metalcore I suppose. The worst parts of your song - breakdown is horrible and useless, seriously man, if the song doesn't need a breakdown, don't put one in, and second, your switches where you hold out a chord for two measures can sound good in a specific context, but here they're a lazy, easy, uninspired way to switch ideas.

Keeping this in mind, for a second song, it's rather good. Keep working at it.
#3
Yeah, I am not that great at writing break downs yet. Whenever I try to write them they seem to come out really generic or the are very similar to ones i have heard before. How do you know if a song needs a breakdown or not?

Thanks for listening!