#1
So I am trying to decide if I should continue playing in a new band I joined about a week ago. Sorry its a long story.

They said they were from LA and had moved to AZ recently. They seemed like a pretty good band, and talked like they had some success. As soon as I joined they said we had a gig in a week. So we only practiced 3 times before the gig. I was expecting it to be a decent gig with a pretty good crowd based on the bands reputation, and thought the place we were playing was pretty well known. But it turned out to be the complete opposite of what I expected. The place was tiny and there was only about 30 people there. We were the last of 4 bands to play and I was told we would be playing around 11:30 and to get there at 9. So I got there at 9, and found out it was an only 21 club and that I would have to wait outside until we played. The band showed up an hour later, and we spent the next 3 hours talking to their friends outside in the cold. By the time we play it is 12:30, and almost everyone has left. Most of the people there were friends of the band, and most of them were under 21 and had to listen from outside. We actually played pretty well, except I could hardly hear anything out of my monitor (I'm the drummer) and we were way off on one of the songs.

So the gig really disappointed me. I also didn't like any of the bands friends. They all seemed like jerks, and were people I would never normally hang out with. I like all the guys in the band though. But it feels like its them three and then me. It doesn't feel fun, or comfortable. It feels like its a job and I need to play everything prefect and it stresses me out, and actually makes me play worse. I really like the music too, but I just don't feel comfortable enough yet to know that its ok if I mess up or something, and we can joke about it.

They were telling me about how they were going to be playing for one of the guys in POD to try and get on his record label, and playing cornerstone festival. It seems like the band has a lot of potential, and I don't want to throw away my chance at being in a band that could make something of themselves. But so far its been pretty rocky and I don't know if I fit in.
#2
Well, reading your gig story I have to say that just sucks. It's also pretty damn rude to let you wait outside. But hey, every band has a gig from time to time that just isn't what you hoped it would be. And about the band.. well you hardly know them. You could try hanging out with them when you're not rehearsing. Go have a pint or something, chat about life and such. Maybe there will be more of a 'click' between all of you then. Especially since you like the music and the band has potential (from your words) I wouldn't just leave so fast. It's hard to find a band that plays your type of music, and even harder to find one that actualy doesn't suck. So yeah, I'd say, give it some more time, try getting to know your bandmates better, and I'm pretty sure It'll all work out then.
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#3
its only been a week. but listen. communication is an important part in sustaining a working relationship like that. its gonna be awkward just like any other time when your hanging out with new friends or doing things your not used to.. but if its understood that you all share a common goal, then you guys will work out good together.

I empathize I really do. I do hope to try to help you out cause I've been in your situation before when my group got together. It never got as awkward as what you're talking about cause basically, we knew right off the bat if we wanted to work as a group then we have to be comfortable with each other. So pretty much, we made time to get to know each other before any sort of situation such as the one you're describing would happen.

I say all of that because it'll let you know if this group is worth staying in, which was the question you asked. When you get to know your mates, you'll understand why they're playing in a band to begin with.

It helps you know if whether or not their worth messing with. Just ask yourself, first, what are my reasons for playing in a band? what goals do I hope to achieve? can these people possibly help me achieve these goals? and another thing, be ****ing honest. If your hiding true intentions, or maybe embarrassed about it.. all i gotta say is get over it.

I'm talking about like.. maybe you just want to play in a group for fun, or maybe you want to play in a group for a recording contract, or to play gigs in front of people. Be honest with yourself, cause these mates might be able to help you achieve these goals. If they have no clue what's going on then they can't help you... cause honestly, there's a high chance that they need you around to help them fulfill their goals. so if that was the case, they should try to keep you as happy as ****in possible

Well anyways.. in case your bandmates do share the same goals as you and you decide to stay in the band, then my next advice would be to find ways be comfortable with your group. It helps if you guys hang out aside from jamming/ playing gigs whatever. Spend like an hour before / after practicing just shooting shit with each other, play video games, watch tv. one thing my group does sometimes is get together at either mine or my drummers house and just watch movies all night.
Last edited by pepsi1187 at Nov 22, 2009,
#4
What sort of band has success in LA then moves to AZ? I think they may be exaggerating a bit. Also if their "fans" are underage, they should be playing venues which allow underage people, and tell you what time you should show up.

They sound unprofessional, I'd get out of there too.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#5
Well.. I think you should stay atlast still for a while. You have been in band only for a week so it's normal that you don't know your bandmates well.

The story about your gig was pretty sad. Very rude to make you stay outside. It would have dissapointed me too. But you played fine, that's important.

Check out do you fit in. If you don't just leave, if you do you stay!
#6
Well I know that the situation about us having a gig so fast probably made it so that there was less of a have fun and hang out, and more of a we need to learn the songs feel. I probably will stay for a bit longer. The only problem I have with that is one of the guitar players is going back to LA for a month, and they told me out next gig wouldn't be till after christmas, which is way further than I was hoping.
Last edited by MR. Goodcents at Nov 22, 2009,
#7
Quote by AlanHB
What sort of band has success in LA then moves to AZ? I think they may be exaggerating a bit. Also if their "fans" are underage, they should be playing venues which allow underage people, and tell you what time you should show up.

They sound unprofessional, I'd get out of there too.


I don't think it matters that they moved to AZ, from what I've gathered they're from AZ and are moving back here. Also they didn't know the place we were playing was over 21, they probably should have asked, but I didn't really blame them.
#8
Quote by MR. Goodcents
I don't think it matters that they moved to AZ, from what I've gathered they're from AZ and are moving back here. Also they didn't know the place we were playing was over 21, they probably should have asked, but I didn't really blame them.


Well they definitely knew the time they were showing up and didn't tell you.

The relocation issue is interesting because if a band wants to be successful, they move to LA or NY. That's how it works. No band in their right mind would have a following in LA then leave. They are probably making this part of the story up to show off, or are truly idiots.

I've quit a band after a week. They kept rescheduling practices. That was enough for me to quit.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#9
If you can't handle LA you go out and and attempt thrive in a local scene. And the tip top bands in those local scenes go places. If you cant make it in the area of most resistance, than you dontreally have the power...
they couldn't handle LA...
#13
Quote by Haze14
Yeah...definitely leave.


Are you just saying that because you don't like that kind of music, or because you think the songs are bad. Personally I really like the songs, I understand that that type of music is not for everyone
#15
if you honestly don't enjoy playing the music, sure. but if you find some enjoyment in it, why not keep playing? better to be playing some music than no music. it isn't like you can't still be looking for other bands at the same time.
my name is matt. you can call me that if you like.
#16
Quote by MR. Goodcents
Are you just saying that because you don't like that kind of music, or because you think the songs are bad. Personally I really like the songs, I understand that that type of music is not for everyone


All of it. It's a disaster. Leave immediately.