#1
Well this is my first ever lyrics, I'm mostly a music writer, and I was hoping I could get some criticism on my first work. The story is my and my girlfriend were really tight, and I had to move. Were not still going out, and we date other people, but we both agree we would drop whoever we were dating at the time to be with each other for even a day. Sappy love story, I realize. Anyway, thanks in advance.


This song's been two years in the making, though i wouldn't know why.
With all the inspiration in the world at the palm of my hand.
I guess I might have been embarrassed, though I couldn't fathom why,
With everything that we've shared, and all the things that we've tried.

[Chorus]
Your the mistake, i love to make
And though i had to leave, just know it wasn't right
Your the mistake, I love to make
I hope this soppy love story never leaves my sight.

I never told you about how that night at the movies
That was my first kiss
And I don't think I told you either, that you were my first love
I guess I might have been embarrassed but couldn't fathom why
Will everything that we've shared, with all the things that we've tried.

[Chorus]

[Solo]

[Chorus]
#2
Will everything that we've shared, with all the things that we've tried. I think Will should be With right?

And soppy in the chorus should be sappy.. well according to what u said about the song.

Other than the typos, overall good piece. Not too cliche and the 2nd verse is awesome.
#4
With the right feel coming from the music, it could be great. I'd say 9/10. There's a couple typing errors in it, by the way. It should be "You're the mistake I love to make", and sappy is spelt wrong in the last line. I didn't count those off in my rating, however.

C4C? The link's in my sig.
#6
Yeah I really should have scaned for typos, huh? Lol well thanks, me and the band are recording some X-mas songs to give out on CDs for the holidays since were all flat broke. This one is going to be on the CD that goes to her, so its nice to know that it won't sound to incredibly cheesy. Thanks